Fake Update time: Happy Anniversary Edition:
(Pic of Alice wearing a pirate outfit with Eyepatch blowing a candle shaped like a five on a generic birthday cake)
Hi again! Another month, another exc... *ahem* status report. My eyesight has gotten better, but now my palms have grown a layer of fur that make me look like the prince but not green. I've broken 3 mice and 4 keyboards the fur keeps getting in the crevices. Eating has been a hassle as there's always hair everywhere. I keep coughing up hairballs like a freaking cat! The only good thing about it is when I jerk off to Alice it feels like I'm a jungle Explorer going through the bush. But you don't care about my personal life, so let's talk Offcuts 0.4 and its status.
The game is almost there. It's essentially done, but I need to go once again over it to ensure there aren't any typos or grammatical errors. We all know that's the most important thing in a porn game. Just checking if the game needs some tweaks, because I'm a tweaker... not THAT kind of tweaker, but the one that does tweaks in games. I do Math, not meth. If I did meth, I'd be like Jesse. What? Breaking bad was the shit when Offcuts 0.1 was made. So, once I do the final tweaks and proofreading, I might release Offcuts 0.4 but I just need to hype it up a bunch in order for the disappointment to be bigger, cause Jesus Christ is my n-99a. Rapping for Jesus was big back when Offcuts 0.1 was made as well.
Did I mention the new project? Because like Walter White, I'm cooking something new... or was it Offcuts: REmake? I can't keep track of my bull- err ideas! Being almost blind and now having hairy palms Has allowed me plenty of time to think about life, death, and other shit. Right now my brain is like an ass that just won't quit. It's like I'm insane in the membrane.
As always, I'm not going to take any Patreon payments until Offcuts 0.4 is out (I'll temporarily suspend my Patreon at the end of each month until then). Thanks for your endless eight patience! OK Haruhi Suzumiya was a dated reference even back when Offcuts 0.1 was released. It's been five years. That has made me a bit nostalgic. When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city and I don't mean a MCR reference, which were somewhat relevant when the story for Offcuts was conceived. The point was, my father took me to the city for a con. There was a meet and greet with Sgt. Slaughter. He was big when I lived in my dad's nutsack. Well, I did the line and got a pic with Sarge while Dad was looking for milk. It's been 30 years, Dad! Daddy, please come home! The wrestlers no longer come to play Royal Rumble with me and mom... although I wasn't allowed to play with them when playing with mom. Daddy! Please come back! Sorry, I got lost in childhood trauma. But my point is, just as I'm waitong for Daddy to return with milk, you guys are waiting for Offcuts 0.4 with the Alice route. Could you imagine if my dad was amongst my Patrons faithfully waiting for my release of Offcuts 0.4? Well, Fuck You, Dad! No Offcuts unless you show up back home with milk!! Not my fault that you went to China to train with my brother on the accursed springs of Jusenkyo. Ranma½ is getting a remake, so it's relevant before the release of Offcuts 0.4! I have to go a new episode of shikanokonokonokokoshinokotokotokotantan... the weird reindeer girl show or however you spell it is on and I might include some references to it and Melissa getting shot in the ear.
You're confusing this dev with someone that will do the work in researching a somewhat plausible excuse to support any new health issues. I get your reasoning, I just don't see him putting in any effort in looking up treatments for a new problem.
