VN Ren'Py Pale Carnations [Ch. 4 Up 4 Public] [Mutt & Jeff]

[Perwyn]

Not to give offence regarding what you said, and what you said was, in spirit, correct, but I have a strong suspicion that PC's writer is not so much becoming good, but may very well already be a professional.

Whoever's penning this gives a lot of cues of already being in the business, and possibly doing this as a side route. There are a lot of VERY polished bits in his writing.

I could be wrong, but I did focus creative writing in college, so have some experience w/this, and there's a lot of evidence here of someone who knows what they're doing and already has the end planned out and is working the characters to meet the plot(s), with a LOT of details working seamlessly towards that end: details that would have needed careful consideration and judicious juggling beforehand, to all line up. This includes a fair amount of philosophical introspection and debate that would be flatly missing from a less polished work. The writer has seriously thought this one over: REPEATEDLY, I suspect.

It wouldn't surprise me if he's the sort of person who runs through conversations in his head beforehand, and he very much smacks of someone who's been writing for quite a while, possibly professionally. He may be in the porn business or not; he may have a more "reputable" writing career outside PC.

Again, that's mainly just an impression I'm getting, but it's a pretty strong one, gleaned from considerable and consistent evidence. People just dipping into writing tend to be a LOT more clumsy, and hack writers are, well, hack, and he's kinda not.

You're right, I have the same impression. No one writes a coherent story like this without having extensive writing experience beforehand. Those who are just starting out have difficulty writing a short text, or short stories. You can pick up published books to read and see errors that you can't find in Pale Carnation.

 

[Turret]

Not to give offence regarding what you said, and what you said was, in spirit, correct, but I have a strong suspicion that PC's writer is not so much becoming good, but may very well already be a professional.

Whoever's penning this gives a lot of cues of already being in the business, and possibly doing this as a side route. There are a lot of VERY polished bits in his writing.

I could be wrong, but I did focus creative writing in college, so have some experience w/this, and there's a lot of evidence here of someone who knows what they're doing and already has the end planned out and is working the characters to meet the plot(s), with a LOT of details working seamlessly towards that end: details that would have needed careful consideration and judicious juggling beforehand, to all line up. This includes a fair amount of philosophical introspection and debate that would be flatly missing from a less polished work. The writer has seriously thought this one over: REPEATEDLY, I suspect.

It wouldn't surprise me if he's the sort of person who runs through conversations in his head beforehand, and he very much smacks of someone who's been writing for quite a while, possibly professionally. He may be in the porn business or not; he may have a more "reputable" writing career outside PC.

Again, that's mainly just an impression I'm getting, but it's a pretty strong one, gleaned from considerable and consistent evidence. People just dipping into writing tend to be a LOT more clumsy, and hack writers are, well, hack, and he's kinda not.

You're right, I have the same impression. No one writes a coherent story like this without having extensive writing experience beforehand. Those who are just starting out have difficulty writing a short text, or short stories. You can pick up published books to read and see errors that you can't find in Pale Carnation.

I agree with you! English is a second language for me, but even I can see the polish done here. (I would very much like to see a German version of this) TD is most probably writing for a living or it is a large part of his real life job. If he is "just" a hobby writer, he is definitely gifted. As you said, there are published books with more mistakes in it than PC has.

 

[Ummmh]

You're right, I have the same impression. No one writes a coherent story like this without having extensive writing experience beforehand. Those who are just starting out have difficulty writing a short text, or short stories. You can pick up published books to read and see errors that you can't find in Pale Carnation.

It would be hilarious if PC turns out to be his magnum opus.

 

[Turret]

It would be hilarious if PC turns out to be his magnum opus.

Yep, TD1900 as the Gutter story Goethe! "Uns ist ganz kannibalisch wohl, als wie 500 Säuen!" from Faust, part one

 

[Ozymandias037]

Yep, TD as the Gutter story Goethe! "Uns ist ganz kannibalisch wohl, als wie 500 Säuen!" from Faust, part one

"Gutter story Goethe" is a fantastic phrase. I applaud you.

 

[otionll]

Cant get enough of the blondes and the goth girl, nice story

 

[flyegg]

Memory/replay/gallery enabler/hack for people who need

How to Use: unzip this file and copy the files to the "game" folder

Virus free: you can open these replay*.rpy files with any txt reader

 

[Wonderer111]

pale carnations has really good quality images, the person who made them is crazy talented.

 

[angelsweep]

yo friends, been months away from this game. Is there yet a threesome for goth girl and naive blondie?

 

[Blueray]

Are thy making another Update this Year or we have to wait un till 2025?

 

[Idontplay]

yo friends, been months away from this game. Is there yet a threesome for goth girl and naive blondie?

There will be, but the developer is a sadist, so more we ask and more we will have to await.

 

[dolfe67]

Are thy making another Update this Year or we have to wait un till 2025?

There might be another one this year yes

 

[Dr. Mick]

There will be, but the developer is a sadist, so more we ask and more we will have to await.

Considering the content of PC, that isn't really a surprise
There's a fair amount of abuse and sadism in the story.

 

[pinuz1]

yo friends, been months away from this game. Is there yet a threesome for goth girl and naive blondie?

No. But

Spoiler

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[Turret]

Considering the content of PC, that isn't really a surprise
There's a fair amount of abuse and sadism in the story.

Going by the story so far and the English used by TD1900 , there is a reason I labelled him "Gutter story Goethe"!
English is a second language for me, but I can see how well he uses it for this game. Especially considering modern English´s limited sentence structure in comparison to e.g. German, Dutch, Japanese, Hindi or Latin. Shakespearian English had a lot more freedoms and is closer to German and Dutch than modern English is, it´s closest large relatives.

 

[The Senior Perv]

Dev Diary 79

Hello all, TD here. Dev diary time!

All told, Ch4Up5 sits at 51 animations, 1,595 static images, and 31,371 words.

That totals 250 statics, 10 animations, and 5,820 words added to the project over the last three weeks.

Since our last diary, we have put a bow on Thursday and are currently working on day two of the update; we have been for about a week or so.

There will be a few minor scenes to fill out the day, but the biiiiiig tentpole scenes for day 2 are a player-determinant scene with Kathleen and a mandatory, non-missable scene with the whole kit and kaboodle of girls.

I'm very excited about both of these, but the latter has added appeal for me because it's always fun to get different cast members to play off each other in novel ways. I love writing scenes like Edwin's birthday party, and while this isn't exactly that, it will offer some fun opportunities to see characters interact.

That's all I'm going to say about that, and I'll keep it short.

Thank you all for your support, and please look forward to the next update.

 

[Ottoeight]

Now we need our usual development chart analysis from our buddy ename144

 

[lkjhgfdfghjkl]

Just as he regarded her as a surrogate mother, Victoria seems to think of Ian as an adopted son. There's no shortage of love between them, but it isn't romantic.

Not much has happened so far that challenges their usual dynamic but there are things they don't know about each other or Edwin that might later on.

Dev Diary 79

Spoiler

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[ename144]

View attachment 3899420

Dev Diary 79

Hello all, TD here. Dev diary time!

All told, Ch4Up5 sits at 51 animations, 1,595 static images, and 31,371 words.

That totals 250 statics, 10 animations, and 5,820 words added to the project over the last three weeks.

Since our last diary, we have put a bow on Thursday and are currently working on day two of the update; we have been for about a week or so.

There will be a few minor scenes to fill out the day, but the biiiiiig tentpole scenes for day 2 are a player-determinant scene with Kathleen and a mandatory, non-missable scene with the whole kit and kaboodle of girls.

I'm very excited about both of these, but the latter has added appeal for me because it's always fun to get different cast members to play off each other in novel ways. I love writing scenes like Edwin's birthday party, and while this isn't exactly that, it will offer some fun opportunities to see characters interact.

That's all I'm going to say about that, and I'll keep it short.

Thank you all for your support, and please look forward to the next update.

I was away yesterday so I'm getting to these numbers a little late, but they're still worth digging into. By my math, TD's math is slightly off on words: I make only 5710 words since the last update (31371-25661), not 5820. I'm guessing this is due to a discrepancy between the word count when TD wrote his last Dev Diary and the word count by raw days, but who knows for sure. In the end, difference is not that big a deal: using TD's numbers, he and GIL have added roughly 83 statics, 3.3 animations, and 1940 words per week over the last 21 days, whereas using my numbers they've added ~83 statics, 3.3 animations, and 1903 words per week over that time. Either way, their overall average is around 92 statics, 2.9 animations and 1800 words per week since work on Chapter 4 Update 5 began. Here are the charts for week 17:

Spoiler: Charting the Start of the Mysterious Friday

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There's not a lot to analyze in terms of raw numbers. The animation rate dipped down and static rate tipped up a bit, which makes sense if Rosalind's scene is complete and we're now starting in on the minor scenes for Friday But personally I'm pretty excited to see how all this will play out. Kathleen's scene will presumably depend on whether the MC called her after the second Exhibition; we may get some sort of scene with her either way, but I'm sure it will be more involved if the MC got her goody bag earlier in the week. I've no taste for Kathleen's concept of fun, but she always makes for interesting gameplay options so that should be something to watch out for.

Meanwhile the big scene with the whole cast (possibly excluding Mina, it's a little unclear whether the "kit and kaboodle" refers to the Club, the LIs, or the entire game) sounds awesome. I love seeing the various girls bounce off each other at least as much as TD loves writing them, and depending on just what the situation turns out to be there are a variety of fruitful topics to explore. Definitely sounds like there's a lot to look forward to. That's going to make it hard to be patient - even though that's exactly what we'll need to be! - but I'm liking where things seem to be headed even if it is still closer to the horizon than my feet.

 

[Mrkraken888]

Will there be content with the mother of the MC in the future? Does anyone know?