- Jul 16, 2017
- 734
- 414
Lol, how cute, i like it. Im not a Fan of Lesbian, but there is something inside of your Game.... hope see more
There's the bit where Alison asks Evelyn if she's ever slept with a boy (I think right before she asks about her sexual preference). You could have inserted the scene as a flashback there. As it stands, it's hard to feel in the scene because it stands alone and you never really get the relationship between the two characters other than them saying "you're my best friend" and the like, making the whole scene feel more like (ironically) forced introductory exposition with a sex scene in it. If you need the scene to merely exist, then a flashback would suffice. Heck, you can even make Eve comment about whatever decision she made during the sex scene.I admit I had trouble finding a way to introduce this at all. There is a lot to learn about Evelyn and why she is the way she is as the story goes on, and I simply couldn't think of a good way to introduce her and who she is without a ton of exposition. I abhor exposition in games and prefer to let the story speak for itself.
As a product of a Catholic school, I can tell you that even all-girl Catholic schools have male teachers too. Just not very many, lol!This certainly isn't the first work of fiction with male teachers at an all girl's school. Even with the name it's not like it's a Catholic school.
That's not a terrible idea overall... not sure about how it would affect pacing... and I'd still need, I think, some actual exposition at the beginning for other facts that come into play there... I don't know. You've given me something to think about.There's the bit where Alison asks Evelyn if she's ever slept with a boy (I think right before she asks about her sexual preference). You could have inserted the scene as a flashback there
Great idea, I second that.There's the bit where Alison asks Evelyn if she's ever slept with a boy (I think right before she asks about her sexual preference). You could have inserted the scene as a flashback there. As it stands, it's hard to feel in the scene because it stands alone and you never really get the relationship between the two characters other than them saying "you're my best friend" and the like, making the whole scene feel more like (ironically) forced introductory exposition with a sex scene in it. If you need the scene to merely exist, then a flashback would suffice. Heck, you can even make Eve comment about whatever decision she made during the sex scene.