Ren'Py Abandoned Spanish Playa [v1.0] [SpanishPlaya_Dev]

[Badjourasmix]

Finally had the time to play, the characters all look really good and the animations are also good. Some people might have a problem with it being sandbox but it is very simple and there isn't any grinding right now, if it stays like this I don't think people will complain a lot. Overall a it's a very good first release.

 

[nrg944]

Good game , waiting for update

 

[evr]

this game is amazing, it really makes me feel like I'm actually in a school, a bus and everything, the renders and animations are on point, much love to the dev that's really refreshing for a start.

 

[bludmarine]

I definitely enjoyed playing through this. The majority of the women are on the busty side which is just perfect for my preferences.

 

[SpanishPlaya_Dev]

Hello

I just finished playing this version and i wanted to give you my personal opinion about it. I'll go over the points i believe could use some improvement.

1. Since it's not my native language i don't want to sound like a hypocrite and it has already been said before, but the english version really needs proofreading and rephrasing when characters speak together, to make it sounds more natural (i wouldn't mind if you kept using some spanish words or expressions like siesta etc..). It would help immersion and make the interactions more fluent. I literally facepalmed myself out of cringyness at the first line the mc blurted out when he got out of the train and engaged with the girls for the first time.

2. The writting needs way more consistency. For example, the cast is full of punks or bimbos with huge breast and ass, which translate into the mc commenting at each and every turn he gets in presence of them about "tits this" and "boobs that", it gets quickly repetitive for my taste and make me wonder if the real ape in the game is in fact the mc himself. Like the small scene with the french girl in the bus, where i noted at least 8 comments about her body and his growing boner. As a writter, you have to learn (and i know it's a hard trick) to provide some variety on how the mc thinks about it, not everything that goes through his mind needs to be explicitly blurt out loud for the reader. Otherwise you risk turning your mc into a simple minded creep. Try using more suggestive approachs when it comes to it. To help you, one thing you can definitely rely on are your renders since this part is well made. They can show and make feel a lot just by themselves (facial expressions, poses etc..).

3. My main critique on this version is the complete lack of decisions you can make or the strange ones you're asked about. Example, the restaurant where the landlady ask you to keep the price of your order at range and there you get to choose between three different meals with absolutely no idea about their price tag nor her reaction to it, you're left clueless about the real impact of your decision which apparently have no importance anyway there. And next, you did very good with the choice to reach or not to the singer, which this time is impactful and perfectly relevant. The worst part of the game for me is before you eat pizza with the "girl of your dream/next door" and you're forced into a 49 space/clicks after sending your order through your phone and just opening the door to peep on her. I would like to have a choice on this matter since the guy is supposed to keep a low profile or be sent back to his cell. Specially in comparison of how he lets Lucia threaten him after the "yoga" session (where there's also no choice in which part you want to partake). I want to be able to choose if the guy want to play it "more adventurous" (either on peeping on his crush, getting treated like a toy by older women and specially while standing his ground when facing his "ennemy") or if he wants to keep it slow and display a decent image of himself to others while his neck is on the line. I'd like a choice on how far i want to push things with the different member of the cast.

4. I find that sandbox and freeroaming rarely add much to the overall quality of a game except skyrocketing the number of useless space/clicks and breaking the natural flow of the story. I really think you should direct your game to the VN style, or kynetic if you keep with the lack of choices. There's already enough clicks to go through with the MC thoughts processing and chasing the ape through useless places was impacted because of this approach, even though it was still funny to see the results.

Okay done with the input on my critiques. I really hope you take it as constructive criticism and please realize i wouldn't even have taken the time to write it down if I didn't feel the potential fun your story could provide ! Big up for the size of your initial release, you put a lot of effort in it unlike most other devs do, there's already quite some content to go with ! I like the initial setting since i love Spain and the spanish culture/women and there is definitely a lot to tell from where you choosed to start your story.
(beside can you really find a restaurant serving food before 10pm and don't forget the existential concept of siesta which send whole town to sleep during the heat of the afternoon)

Keep improving you're on a good track !

Thank you very much for making such an elaborate comment!

It will help me a lot to redo certain aspects of the game and polish the different elements that I still have to work on.

Yes, the texts in both languages need improvement. I focused in rendering and how to code the different things I wanted to implement (which is easy, but I'm not a programmer so I need to learn basic things).

I'm already reviewing and redoing the story to create more narrative consistency. However, I wanted to see some reactions to the story, because after thinking and organising the different parts of the game, I was having a hard time getting an overview of the narrative due to exhaustion. I preferred to receive feedback and redo the story with external criticism that would help me to reinforce the weak points (like your post, which I greatly appreciate).

On the lack of decision: that's something I want to implement step by step. I know what you mean, and that's something I had planned. I wanted to make the Chapter 0 as a fast introduction to the environment and the design. I wanted to see if I could create environments that were good enough to convey the feeling of being in Spain, and if Daz Studio had the resources for that.

So, I had the MC participate in all the events that I was implementing. As I review the story, I will be adding different choices so that you have more freedom of choice. BUT, there are some aspects that I wanted to keep that way:

- For example, in the yoga session I will make you decide if you want to do yoga alone or do the class with the assigned girl. If you want to stay, you can only help Virginia. The reason for this is that, in the future, the next time you have the option to go to another yoga session, the other woman (Julia) will be your teacher. Anyway, I'm going to review it so, this is not my final decision.

Later in the dressing room, I'll let you choose whether to stay with Yolanda or run away.

About the sandbox: I had planned to have only freeroaming at MC's house. I added the University map thinking that could be great. I'll try to make it more direct to see how it works.

I'll keep freeroaming at MC's house because I'll need it for some choices. That's the only freeroaming that you will ever do.

I want to point out (this is to everyone reading me now, not just the post I'm replying to) that I'm doing this project alone. I prioritized the renders in this chapter to see if I could achieve the result I wanted. What I'm saying is... I need time to work on it. I dedicate a lot of time to this game so that it meets the expectations it generates. I'm not complaining, I just wanted to give a little perspective from my position.

Thanks Tikita for pointing out these things and believing in the potential of my game. I hope you find future updates interesting and meet your expectations.

 

[SpanishPlaya_Dev]

not bad but i kinda wanna corrupt a certain girl

You will, you will... Trust me you will...

 

[FriedPasta]

This game looks so good and the ambient is just awesome (El interior del piso de verdad que lo miras y sabes que estás en Españita xd)
Ive played a bit and a few errors popped out, I have one that does not let me continue at all and I wanna know if it is the end of the version or just a big error. I have checked this forum a bit and some of you talk about the end of the chapter like it ends on a normal way so.
Sorry if this is just the way it ends and Im looking like a fool here

screenshot and the raw log.

Spoiler: log

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[Cernunnos.]

Later in the dressing room, I'll let you choose whether to stay with Yolanda or run away.

I eagerly await this as I didn't like being served up to a turkey vulture

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.

 

[SpanishPlaya_Dev]

This game looks so good and the ambient is just awesome (El interior del piso de verdad que lo miras y sabes que estás en Españita xd)
Ive played a bit and a few errors popped out, I have one that does not let me continue at all and I wanna know if it is the end of the version or just a big error. I have checked this forum a bit and some of you talk about the end of the chapter like it ends on a normal way so.
Sorry if this is just the way it ends and Im looking like a fool here

screenshot and the raw log.

Spoiler: log

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The chapter ends there. You can't do anything after that. You can only go to the laptop and see the scenes that you have already seen.

I need to check the links because I re-uploaded the game with that problem fixed, but I don't know if the link hosts updated the file correctly. If you downloaded the game from other website, they probably have the first version with those minor bugs.

Anyway, like I said before, there's nothing to do after that. For other possible outcomes in the game, check this.

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

not bad but i kinda wanna corrupt a certain girl

I can't imagine which one that might be.

 

[Uknowme]

Great game! Definitely has a lot of potential and I will look out for it.I would like to give my feedback about it.

1.The setting of the game is really good but I was wondering if it will have a incest patch as landlord as mother,Lucia as sister and the doctor as our father where the parents are divorced and the Mc goes to live with his mom to study.

2.The renders and animations are amazing.By far the best on a first release so great job! You have done amazing work on the first release compared to other devs.I noticed something though, there were times when you zoomed in on the breasts of Isabel and Deliara in the restaurant while talking to Clara they looked pretty weird, talking about breasts,in some of the images they look wierd and out of proportion.It would be nice if girls with big tits aren't too big that it makes them look unpleasant.

3.I find it unrealistic how things get sexual maybe because it is or it's not narrated well enough or they are rushed.Soo it will be good if you make the sexual scenes are not rushed and atleast a little bit believable.

4.The thing I'm most curious about is if the game will have points system (love or corruption) or you have already decided what kind of relationship the MC will have with the girls.For example if we had more love points certain options will be available or the conversation and events would be more romantic and the sex will be not so kinky.On the other hand the, corruption would be more forward approach to conversations and events and freaky sex.

5.I am not really into sandbox but it wasn't really bad in this game.I hope we don't have to grind money or have different day times or trigger events.The game will be better off as a VN.

6.I like how the game is set in Spain.I love their culture so much and I hope you will put of it's elements in the game.I also like how diverse the cast of girls is and they look well put together.

7.Proof reading is a must!


That's it! I'm looking forward to the game and I hope you release the game in chapters instead of small updates,and release an update once or twice a month.It was just my constructive criticism and all I wish is to encourage you to make the game better.I have never written sucg a long text for any game.That just means of how much I believe in the potential of the game.Good luck to you!

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

SpanishPlaya_Dev, thank you for fixing the previous errors. FYI, I started over and chose not to investigate Clara crying at the restaurant and instead met Dafne. The next day, when the two people in suits chase Mimi downstairs, Nadya asks if the MC can help her move a piano. There then is a succession of errors, as follows, all relating to the piano movement sound effects you're trying to provide:

• Right after the MC thinks "(Well... more or less.)", I get the 1st attached error.
• Then after Nadya says "Come on! We're doing it.", I get the 2nd attached error.
• The MC thinks "(I wonde where she's from.)", after which the 3rd attached error happens.
• When the MC thinks to himself "(Never thought this was so heavy.)", there's another error (see the 4th attachment).
• Later, once you're in the library, Nadya and Mimi fight over a textbook. After she says she's not hurt, the MC says, "- I see the ape is going that way." and then there are a few errors in a row (see traceback_5.txt and traceback_6.txt attachments).

I can use Ignore to continue past each error I've listed above.

 

[SpanishPlaya_Dev]

SpanishPlaya_Dev, thank you for fixing the previous errors. FYI, I started over and chose not to investigate Clara crying at the restaurant and instead met Dafne. The next day, when the two people in suits chase Mimi downstairs, Nadya asks if the MC can help her move a piano. There then is a succession of errors, as follows, all relating to the piano movement sound effects you're trying to provide:

• Right after the MC thinks "(Well... more or less.)", I get the 1st attached error.
• Then after Nadya says "Come on! We're doing it.", I get the 2nd attached error.
• The MC thinks "(I wonde where she's from.)", after which the 3rd attached error happens.
• When the MC thinks to himself "(Never thought this was so heavy.)", there's another error (see the 4th attachment).
• Later, once you're in the library, Nadya and Mimi fight over a textbook. After she says she's not hurt, the MC says, "- I see the ape is going that way." and then there are a few errors in a row (see traceback_5.txt and traceback_6.txt attachments).

I can use Ignore to continue past each error I've listed above.

Thanks for reporting this.

I'll see if this weekend I can upload a fix. I will do a patch because they are easy bugs to patch (except on android.) On android, I'll think of a solution.

 

[SpanishPlaya_Dev]

Great game! Definitely has a lot of potential and I will look out for it.I would like to give my feedback about it.

1.The setting of the game is really good but I was wondering if it will have a incest patch as landlord as mother,Lucia as sister and the doctor as our father where the parents are divorced and the Mc goes to live with his mom to study.

2.The renders and animations are amazing.By far the best on a first release so great job! You have done amazing work on the first release compared to other devs.I noticed something though, there were times when you zoomed in on the breasts of Isabel and Deliara in the restaurant while talking to Clara they looked pretty weird, talking about breasts,in some of the images they look wierd and out of proportion.It would be nice if girls with big tits aren't too big that it makes them look unpleasant.

3.I find it unrealistic how things get sexual maybe because it is or it's not narrated well enough or they are rushed.Soo it will be good if you make the sexual scenes are not rushed and atleast a little bit believable.

4.The thing I'm most curious about is if the game will have points system (love or corruption) or you have already decided what kind of relationship the MC will have with the girls.For example if we had more love points certain options will be available or the conversation and events would be more romantic and the sex will be not so kinky.On the other hand the, corruption would be more forward approach to conversations and events and freaky sex.

5.I am not really into sandbox but it wasn't really bad in this game.I hope we don't have to grind money or have different day times or trigger events.The game will be better off as a VN.

6.I like how the game is set in Spain.I love their culture so much and I hope you will put of it's elements in the game.I also like how diverse the cast of girls is and they look well put together.

7.Proof reading is a must!


That's it! I'm looking forward to the game and I hope you release the game in chapters instead of small updates,and release an updateonce or twice a week.It was just my constructive criticism and all I wish is to encourage you to make the game better.I have never written sucg a long text for any game.That just means of how much I believe in the potential of the game.Good luck to you!

Thanks for your feedback!

I'll try to answer point by point:

1- No incest. There are a couple of reasons for this: first, the way the story will work won't allow it. You're a supposed to be given a opportunity to improve your life and you have no clue about Tarraco. Also, Lucia has a very different background that will be revealed over time. Incest would be forced in the plot and that wouldn't work.

The second reason is that I'm not into that. Also, incest is the most overused genre. I just didn't want to make another incest game, with another hot mom, with another annoying sister, with another distant father. There are too many already.

Now, I put Lucia, Isabel and the MC together as a joke about the incest stuff existing in many games. A home with a landlord, a girl and a MC that aren't family. Everybody comes from a different background. It looked funny to me... I don't know how many games are like that.

2 - That moment was on purpose. I made them look disproportionate (well, Isabel is already like that) as a comic effect. Anyway, I know that some images show weird proportions, or the clothes just don't help. Only Isabel is going to have a huge breast, I wanted her to be like that. The other women will be more balanced. Sometimes, depending on the clothes or the camera angle, they look bigger or have weird shapes. Well, that's something I'm getting better at.

3 and 4:

This is going to be a long explanation, so I'll put it on a spoiler. Maybe it doesn't answer 100% what you were asking, but I think you can get an idea:

Spoiler

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5 - The only sandbox will be at the MC home. I don't like to grind (fuck grinding!). About different days triggers... It won't work like that. You won't need to sleep until a specific day to trigger an event. The mechanism of the game will be simpler.

It's good that someplayers point this out. I'll make some stuff (like finding the ape) more direct.


6 - Thanks!


7 - Yeah mate, I know that. I'm rewriting the story in spanish. I started writing the game in english (originally, wasn't going to release it in spanish and I rushed the translation badly) but I had a hard time making it flow with ease, so I guess now the narrative will gain in consistency and naturalness and yeah, I will need a translator and proofreaders. I need to find an english native speaker living in Spain for that. Luckily, there are many.


Only one tier of my patrons will have small updates. Those updates will be scenes or events of the game. Only when I have the chapter 1 fully done I will make the full release of that chapter. If I can have chapter 0 redone before, then I will release it.

Thank you for trusting in this project and your feedback! Some posts here have been very helpful.

 

["Kimber]

nice game

 

[blackares]

I like this game. It seems full of potential. The character's appearances are very beautiful I really love it. Hope that it won't take to long to release the next update.

 

[Uknowme]

Thanks for your feedback!

I'll try to answer point by point:

1- No incest. There are a couple of reasons for this: first, the way the story will work won't allow it. You're a supposed to be given a opportunity to improve your life and you have no clue about Tarraco. Also, Lucia has a very different background that will be revealed over time. Incest would be forced in the plot and that wouldn't work.

The second reason is that I'm not into that. Also, incest is the most overused genre. I just didn't want to make another incest game, with another hot mom, with another annoying sister, with another distant father. There are too many already.

Now, I put Lucia, Isabel and the MC together as a joke about the incest stuff existing in many games. A home with a landlord, a girl and a MC that aren't family. Everybody comes from a different background. It looked funny to me... I don't know how many games are like that.

2 - That moment was on purpose. I made them look disproportionate (well, Isabel is already like that) as a comic effect. Anyway, I know that some images show weird proportions, or the clothes just don't help. Only Isabel is going to have a huge breast, I wanted her to be like that. The other women will be more balanced. Sometimes, depending on the clothes or the camera angle, they look bigger or have weird shapes. Well, that's something I'm getting better at.

3 and 4:

This is going to be a long explanation, so I'll put it on a spoiler. Maybe it doesn't answer 100% what you were asking, but I think you can get an idea:

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

5 - The only sandbox will be at the MC home. I don't like to grind (fuck grinding!). About different days triggers... It won't work like that. You won't need to sleep until a specific day to trigger an event. The mechanism of the game will be simpler.

It's good that someplayers point this out. I'll make some stuff (like finding the ape) more direct.


6 - Thanks!


7 - Yeah mate, I know that. I'm rewriting the story in spanish. I started writing the game in english (originally, wasn't going to release it in spanish and I rushed the translation badly) but I had a hard time making it flow with ease, so I guess now the narrative will gain in consistency and naturalness and yeah, I will need a translator and proofreaders. I need to find an english native speaker living in Spain for that. Luckily, there are many.


Only one tier of my patrons will have small updates. Those updates will be scenes or events of the game. Only when I have the chapter 1 fully done I will make the full release of that chapter. If I can have chapter 0 redone before, then I will release it.

Thank you for trusting in this project and your feedback! Some posts here have been very helpful.

Thanks for replying and taking my feedback into consideration!

I'm only gonna talk about the initiation of the sexual scenes now.Now that I think about it they weren't unlikely to happen irl but just the way they were narrated didn't make it as good I would say.I think that was mainly because the game isn't proofread,so I'm 100% sure after that's done the scene would be way smoother.

Also wondering if you have a discord server,so that I could always give me feedback easily.Also I just noticed Isabel is from Shut up and dance VN which is one of my favourite games!So I might support you financial in the future just cause of Isabel haha

 

[SpanishPlaya_Dev]

HI!

I'm going to announce some updates.

I'm going to make some additions to chapter 0, and I have worked out some of my plans with the game so that I can create more content in less time:


- I will remove the 'sandbox' of the game. It wasn't annoying but I guess it will create a smoother game.


- Shorter story: After giving it some thought, I will shorten the game and make it more concise. My main goal was to feel like being in Spain (which I think I've accomplished) and have fun with the game, so I'll make the plot move faster.


I guess the game will have 3 chapters, and one more that I plan to be just a harem with the characters.


- Reformatory scene: I will add a scene about the reformatory after the scene with the MC and Delara eating pizza. In this scene, Nuria will make her first appearance.


- Fixes on clothes: I was able to get clothes to fit better on girls with big tits. I won't do those fixes on the previous renders because that's a lot of work and I guess you rather seeing new things. Once the game is finished, I'll check those pics and fix them.


- Review and rewriting: I'm rewriting the game to make it flow more naturally. I started the game in english and I had difficulties to make it natural and meaningful to a native english speaker (and the posterior translation to spanish had grammatical errors and expressions I didn't focus on at all). Now, the 'main' game will be in spanish, so I guess it will improve the narrative overall.


- Notoriety: I'll make the characters react to the notoriety of the MC. Some girls will like it, some others won't. That will add different options, so you can play it low key or be the most daring guy in the world (and with its consequences).


And that's all. I think I received a good feedback and I can make a decent game.

So here is Nuria posing on the MC's reformatory bed. The MC remembers her fondly...



Here you have Isabel. Maybe she asks you to help her with her bra in the chapter 1

 

[SpanishPlaya_Dev]

Thanks for replying and taking my feedback into consideration!

I'm only gonna talk about the initiation of the sexual scenes now.Now that I think about it they weren't unlikely to happen irl but just the way they were narrated didn't make it as good I would say.I think that was mainly because the game isn't proofread,so I'm 100% sure after that's done the scene would be way smoother.

Also wondering if you have a discord server,so that I could always give me feedback easily.Also I just noticed Isabel is from Shut up and dance VN which is one of my favourite games!So I might support you financial in the future just cause of Isabel haha

I'll open a Discord server once my workflow in college slows down and my Patreon count goes up a bit more. Right now I cannot spend all the time that I would like to respond to things or report on new things that I am developing. I hope I can open a server before or during Christmas.

I had no idea about that game. They look very similar . What a surprise! Well, we all use resources from Daz Studio. Probably other characters in my game have similarities to other characters in other games. I had planned to change Isabel's hair so I guess that will make her a bit more 'unique'.

 

[Yanagi-san]

Delara is gorgeous!!!