VN Ren'Py The List [v0.11] [Uncle Loco]

[Uncle Loco]

As a casual player of the guy who fell madly in love with his savior (total ”u save my life means you are responsible for me” trope right here in full throbbing swing) and his whole family already past the moment of remembrance,
we are kind of feeling boxed in by everybody else.

To pick up from some other perspective expressed above:”Keeping our status as a Primordial Vampire or whatever we should be called a secret is getting harder and harder. People already know we've killed three Elders”.

The overpowered characters still in this story are a horror story, the lot of them:
- the concil member we get to punish with TKA is a literal girl eater, TKA himself was a literal girl eater before he found joy in doing everything with the twins, our proverbial ”father” is a warlock who eats the mothers of his children - literal mother eater - and having Eve - literal mother of all - well, she does nothing about girls we care about having catastrophic phisical atrocities.



Are we on the path to becoming early days TKA? A hermit eating virgins at the edge of the city?
Are we becoming that council member? Hunting single girls to keep as blood bags to bleed dry?
Are we becoming out father? Literal mother eater?

I like the path options at the end there. I will say TKA saw his ways and changed. Not all elders at like Thomas. As for the MC's father he has saved more lives and has done more good than bad. Sometimes stories are true and sometimes they are based on truth, but covered in lies.

 

[MrBenny]

I like the path options at the end there. I will say TKA saw his ways and changed. Not all elders at like Thomas. As for the MC's father he has saved more lives and has done more good than bad. Sometimes stories are true and sometimes they are based on truth, but covered in lies.

Hmm...so it was obvious MC was able to absorb the soul of lone vampire assassin that showed up at the wedding gazebo. But did MC miss out absorbing the souls of the two elders, or was that death speech and his blue eyes a way of MC absorbing that elders soul without the others around him seeing it happen?

As MC showed no visible signs on his chest of absorbing the souls with those two elders, like he did with the assassin's or the first elder he killed.

And I'm wondering if the pink hair woman with blue glowing eyes that was seen in the containment tube, was MC's sister, or maybe she's someone else new to the story?

Regards.

 

[Skep-tiker]

Hmm...so it was obvious MC was able to absorb the soul of lone vampire assassin that showed up at the wedding gazebo. But did MC miss out absorbing the souls of the two elders, or was that death speech and his blue eyes a way of MC absorbing that elders soul without the others around him seeing it happen?

As MC showed no visible signs on his chest of absorbing the souls with those two elders, like he did with the assassin's or the first elder he killed.

And I'm wondering if the pink hair woman with blue glowing eyes that was seen in the containment tube, was MC's sister, or maybe she's someone else new to the story?

Regards.

There was no possibillity to perform the ritual unnoticed with the two elders.

 

[Ramagar]

This game just keeps getting better and better.

 

[TigerWolfe]

Is Gabrielle a vamp? I don't recall, if she's turned or just a mortal servant.

 

[HornyyPussy]

Is Gabrielle a vamp? I don't recall, if she's turned or just a mortal servant.

 

[TigerWolfe]

View attachment 3950179

I'm rooting for no, cause she could be preggers too, assuming I'm not fucking up the time lines.

 

[Uncle Loco]

Hmm...so it was obvious MC was able to absorb the soul of lone vampire assassin that showed up at the wedding gazebo. But did MC miss out absorbing the souls of the two elders, or was that death speech and his blue eyes a way of MC absorbing that elders soul without the others around him seeing it happen?

As MC showed no visible signs on his chest of absorbing the souls with those two elders, like he did with the assassin's or the first elder he killed.

And I'm wondering if the pink hair woman with blue glowing eyes that was seen in the containment tube, was MC's sister, or maybe she's someone else new to the story?

Regards.

Ok so let's break this down a bit.

The ritual is something that was lost over time. It was a very common act in the past which caused a lot of deaths to older vampires. It almost caused the elimination of all vampires. So elders began to destroy knowledge about the ritual. TKA hinted at this when he saw the MC use it the first tiime, and tried to make him forget about how to do it.

If the mc used that ritual in front of other vampires it could cause a lot of issues and problems for him. Eve has been very careful to tell the mc when it is safe to use it.

As for the pink hair girl. You can find her in almost every chapter of the game. She is lurking in the shadows watching the mc. Her most prominent scene was her opening a portal in the parking garage. A lot of people think she was the mc sister Britney but she is not. I have confirmed that here a few times already. Britney and the pink hair stalker are two different people.

 

[S1nsational]

Is Gabrielle a vamp? I don't recall, if she's turned or just a mortal servant.

 

[Uncle Loco]

Is Gabrielle a vamp? I don't recall, if she's turned or just a mortal servant.

No she is a human. Her family line has served the Gray family for 100s of years. This is really not something that is covered in the game.

 

[TigerWolfe]

View attachment 3950188

For some reason I'm failing to get that to load in the koga port.... Or I'm a dumb.

No she is a human. Her family line has served the Gray family for 100s of years. This is really not something that is covered in the game.

So maybe preggers?!

Also, if the hair dresser is a one off NPC man you cooked too hard on that one man, she's gorgeous.

 

[Uncle Loco]

This game just keeps getting better and better.

Thank you. I am happy to hear people really enjoy the story. I know things started out a little shaky in chapters 1 and 2. It is not easy to build the world I am trying to make with these stories.

Just think we have only really learned about vampires. We have so much more to learn about Mages, Werewolves, and who knows what else is out there.

We know from Eve that the MC's father is a mage but not much else. We learn one fact about Werewolves from Alexis that their blood tastes bitter. Other than that we know nothing else about those species.

 

[Uncle Loco]

For some reason I'm failing to get that to load in the koga port.... Or I'm a dumb.



So maybe preggers?!

Also, if the hair dresser is a one off NPC man you cooked too hard on that one man, she's gorgeous.

First part maybe.

Second part all side characters are practice for character creation. I have 4 more games that need characters. The List Saga is 5 games in total. So maybe side one off characters become part of the story later.

 

[Ramagar]

Thank you. I am happy to hear people really enjoy the story. I know things started out a little shaky in chapters 1 and 2. It is not easy to build the world I am trying to make with these stories.

Just think we have only really learned about vampires. We have so much more to learn about Mages, Werewolves, and who knows what else is out there.

We know from Eve that the MC's father is a mage but not much else. We learn one fact about Werewolves from Alexis that their blood tastes bitter. Other than that we know nothing else about those species.

Chapter 1 did seem a little slow as I did not think I would enjoy the game. However, as a writer myself, I know you have to set the stage for other ths to take place.

After chapter 1, I really started liking the game a LOT. Keep up the great work.

 

[Uncle Loco]

View attachment 3950188

Going to need to update that one.

 

[Uncle Loco]

Alright. I really don't want to be that guy, but I figured I'd try this game today and got to 2nd chapter when my tolerance ran out. Does the writing improve going forward?

Game starts (and later continues with the same at the end of the chapter) with a weird diatribe from the MC towards the audience that has 4th wall breaking and a future flashback mixed in with a whole lot of ranting about random bullshit. He has a companion with him that I presume to be the Tooth Fairy for all I know. Skip unseen text, go.

There is a poker game. Why the high level of secrecy, is this some mob thing? Given what the game promises in the overview, would be reasonable to expect that. Game doesn't think so. View attachment 3949547
Can you imagine a serious tournament, legal or illegal, where you could hear shit like "HornyyPussy raises $500"? I can't but maybe I'm just lacking imagination. Later in the cafe Diamonds says that the buy in for this was $2500. In poker a buy in usually also determines how many chips you get. Yet in the game on the very first turn they bet $3700 + the all-in for who knows how much. Perhaps that is what the cops wanted to bust them for, infringing on money printing rights of the federal gov.

Also at the cafe we get the full range of wtf from Diamonds, from trauma dumping, to flashing her tits in the middle of the floor and sex in the bathroom upon first meeting a guy. For added irony she complains that guys only want one thing from her. Self reflection is not her strong suit.

2nd chapter begins and I am treated to this absolute pearl:
View attachment 3949565
I was not aware the MC was training to become a diviner. And that's around when my tolerance for stupid hit a wall.

With 11 chapters total, does this ever improve? Are the first 2 chapters just the dev getting his footing? If not... Fuck.

I will say that based on feedback the first few chapters are a little slow. At least in my opinion they are. The real story slowly pokes it's head in during chapters 3 and 4. After that it really picks up.

This is my first game so I made a lot of mistakes early on. Instead of wasting everyone's time with me reworking the early stuff. I decided to move forward with the story as is. I did get a volunteer proofreader, but things still get missed here and there.

I can't promise you will like it more or hate it more as you go, but a lot of people tell me they were happy to play it out rather than stop during the first 4 chapters.

 

[MrBenny]

Ok so let's break this down a bit.

The ritual is something that was lost over time. It was a very common act in the past which caused a lot of deaths to older vampires. It almost caused the elimination of all vampires. So elders began to destroy knowledge about the ritual. TKA hinted at this when he saw the MC use it the first tiime, and tried to make him forget about how to do it.

If the mc used that ritual in front of other vampires it could cause a lot of issues and problems for him. Eve has been very careful to tell the mc when it is safe to use it.

As for the pink hair girl. You can find her in almost every chapter of the game. She is lurking in the shadows watching the mc. Her most prominent scene was her opening a portal in the parking garage. A lot of people think she was the mc sister Britney but she is not. I have confirmed that here a few times already. Britney and the pink hair stalker are two different people.

Hmm...looks like I have to do a replay again to remind me of some of the previous content I don't remember. But thanks for your detailed post clarifying details with some of the questions I had.

I'm really looking forward to more interesting content in the next updates. Like knowing if MC will go back and release that pink haired girl or girls from their containment...which I hope happens (I also thought that pink haired girl that was constantly showing up was MC's half sister).

And thanks again for your detailed comments, and all your efforts with your excellent work in progress project.

Best regards.

 

[Uncle Loco]

One thing I did want to say that if something seems out of place it could be important. Those in my discord know this, but not everyone here. I really like to hide clues of things to come in plain sight. So if you see something and think that is odd it actually might be important.

A few examples from early on in the game. If you look at the fire escape in the alley, when the poker game is broken up you will see a familiar pink hair lady. Later in chapter 2 if you pay attention to the MC's drinks you may see spots of blood on the straw or in the shakes.

Chapter 11 has a pretty interesting one too, but I won't so whoo or what that is.

 

[Vortex@]

Spoiler: WTF

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[Skep-tiker]

WTF!! We've been waiting all this time ...

Spoiler!