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VN Ren'Py Abandoned The Manifest: Shadows Over Manston [v2.2] [White Phantom Games]

4.20 star(s) 37 Votes

ThunderRob

Devoted Member
May 10, 2018
9,497
26,606
how do you get scenes with her?
you go pick her up..there are no sex scenes yet..just 3-4 instances of interaction with her that tell alot about her character if you pay attention...no sex scenes with McKenna either..but she is always a good person in the scenes available with you..and blonde teacher..really wants to be appreciated and loved..thats all..
 

desmosome

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 5, 2018
6,371
14,588
you go pick her up..there are no sex scenes yet..just 3-4 instances of interaction with her that tell alot about her character if you pay attention...no sex scenes with McKenna either..but she is always a good person in the scenes available with you..and blonde teacher..really wants to be appreciated and loved..thats all..
hmm maybe I'm not remembering everything. I picked her up and might remember kissing her in the car then, but don't remember the other stuff like her getting mad at you for sleeping with wife or telling you how its gonna go.
 

ThunderRob

Devoted Member
May 10, 2018
9,497
26,606
hmm maybe I'm not remembering everything. I picked her up and might remember kissing her in the car then, but don't remember the other stuff like her getting mad at you for sleeping with wife or telling you how its gonna go.
you have to be on the love wife path also...your wife wants to keep boinking till she gets preggers then sis knocks on the door saying she cant sleep can she sleep with wife..MC goes to couch..on the way..sis scolds MC tells him no effin way he'll "make love" to his wife while she's there and he better be ready to make her happy that weekend...so ya..REDFLAG!!!! also the way she orders you to kiss her ..its all in the details..but she's a control freak...absolute worst woman on earth..LOL...ya know..Penelope adores MC ..probably best to stick to her..LOL
 
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desmosome

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 5, 2018
6,371
14,588
you have to be on the love wife path also...your wife wants to keep boinking till she gets preggers then sis knocks on the door saying she cant sleep can she sleep with wife..MC goes to couch..on the way..sis scolds MC tells him no effin way he'll "make love" to his wife while she's there and he better be ready to make her happy that weekend...so ya..REDFLAG!!!! also the way she orders you to kiss her ..its all in the details..but she's a control freak...absolute worst woman on earth..LOL...ya know..Penelope adores MC ..probably best to stick to her..LOL
Unfortunately... I fed Penelope a liquid bomb :( I might have to redo that one lol.
 

fuckyouassholes

Active Member
Nov 27, 2018
678
441
@WhitePhantom Hi dev !

it's been a few months since i last saw your game, when it was still named " The Manifest "

hey i'd just like to know about how long the game is planned to be ?

let us know if you're ok sharing the info with us !

really like the game's premise and setting btw !

thanks for making this !
 

Deleted member 997153

I am a meat popsicle
Donor
Game Developer
Nov 7, 2018
1,081
6,948
I don't know about anyone else, but this game feels like it's starting to collapse under the weight of an increasingly convoluted storyline. Because saves haven't been compatible for the last few releases, I've had to replay this game several times now. Each time I play it through, I become more confused about what is going on. The lack of transitions between scenes, the jumping around in the timeline, and the fact that the MC experiences events that we, the audience, don't see... it's all creating a mess. If the story is going to be told in first-person, then you can't have the MC performing actions that the audience isn't aware of.

For example, at some point Hannah got the booze from the MC. After reading the walkthrough, that seems to be an actual scene that did not appear on the route I took. So I'm at the party wondering how the hell Hannah got the booze from the MC.

Another example is Amira. Isn't she dead, dismembered and stuffed into a garbage bag? All of a sudden, she's back. Huh? Was it a flashback? I have no idea. Now I'm lost and trying to figure out if it's just shitty writing or did I legitimately miss something?

There are too many characters, too many branching storylines and paths, too much jumping around in the timeline, and ZERO scene transitions or establishing shots.

For a game that I really loved initially, this is quickly turning into the same experience I had with the TV show Lost. I have the same feeling - this story is fucked and it's unlikely to be salvaged in a satisfying way. :(
 

Trasher2018

Engaged Member
Aug 21, 2018
2,181
3,567
I don't know about anyone else, but this game feels like it's starting to collapse under the weight of an increasingly convoluted storyline. Because saves haven't been compatible for the last few releases, I've had to replay this game several times now. Each time I play it through, I become more confused about what is going on. The lack of transitions between scenes, the jumping around in the timeline, [...]

Another example is Amira. Isn't she dead, dismembered and stuffed into a garbage bag? All of a sudden, she's back. Huh? Was it a flashback? I have no idea. Now I'm lost and trying to figure out if it's just shitty writing or did I legitimately miss something?

There are too many characters, too many branching storylines and paths, too much jumping around in the timeline, and ZERO scene transitions or establishing shots.

For a game that I really loved initially, this is quickly turning into the same experience I had with the TV show Lost. I have the same feeling - this story is fucked and it's unlikely to be salvaged in a satisfying way. :(
Yep - thats what I thought too.

On my 0.17 save there was barely any meaningful content. That wired stuff at the lab (what? why?), than that shopping (worst and most boring shopping scene in a long time - so much misses potential) "scene" and thats it. Ah no - the is that scene with Dusk at the pool and the undead/reborn? girl ...

The hard jumps between scenes are horrible - where is the well paced game form the earlier versions?

I get it - the dev wants some crime/thriller story, but that has to be way easier. You have to remember that there is a break for the player for 1-2 month(s) in a lot of cases. Sure at the end that doesnt count, but for the most time this is important. And when the update is only a mash up of confusing story scenes and a small kiss ... sorry.

There is so much lost potential with Penelope and/or Hannah at/after the party and in the morning or the "shopping trip" (again - horrible).

Had to change my score of the game form a 7 to a 5.5 :(
 

Deleted member 997153

I am a meat popsicle
Donor
Game Developer
Nov 7, 2018
1,081
6,948
I get it - the dev wants some crime/thriller story, but that has to be way easier. You have to remember that there is a break for the player for 1-2 month(s) in a lot of cases. Sure at the end that doesnt count, but for the most time this is important. And when the update is only a mash up of confusing story scenes and a small kiss ... sorry.

There is so much lost potential with Penelope and/or Hannah at/after the party and in the morning or the "shopping trip" (again - horrible).
He definitely has an ambitious vision and I applaud that. The execution is just completely wrong for several reasons:

  1. You can't have a thriller/mystery story with branching storylines and allow the users to dictate which characters get screentime in each update. Full stop. It's just not going to be possible to have a coherent story. Everyone likes Penelope. Great, but what happens if Hannah is essential to a plot point or pivotal scene? Now you have to rewrite or replot the story you were planning or you have to make it up as you go along (terrible idea). Users dictating character storylines is best suited for sandbox games, not multi-branching narratives.
  2. Too many characters were introduced too fast. I've seen people make Game of Thrones comparisons and not just because the dev has lifted plot points wholesale from that show (the Doctor tellling three different people three different shipments in order to ferret out the rat, lifted directly from season 2 of GoT). Large casts are great, but there is too much going on. Characters need to be introduced more slowly. Focus on the wife, step-daughter, and her friends and how that interacts with the history he has with Jessica. There was no need to introduce a mechanic, a sister-in-law the MC knocked up, a horny doctor, etc, etc, etc... It's simply too much and distracts from the core narrative, which is now buried under a mountain of side characters
  3. The lack of scene transitions is jarring and makes the audience confused. This was one of the biggest problems in Batman v. Superman and it's the same thing here. The audience doesn't realize it's in a new scene until we're well into it. Transitions give us time to digest what we've just seen and prepare for the next part of the story. It's especially important when we're jumping around in the timeline because understanding the chronology of events is important for the audience, especially if the characters are not aware of them. We have to know what they don't know yet.
  4. Too many storylines going on simultaneously means things get lost in the mix. There might be one storyline for Dusk, but there are multiple points in time that the storyline occurs. Each time an event occurs at a different point in time, even if it's with the same characters, in the audience's mind it's another story thread we have to keep track of. It's simply overwhelming once these start stacking up.
I'm planning on giving it a couple of more releases, but I'm not hopeful. The dev needs to streamline this thing in a major way. Short of a complete rewrite, I'm not sure how he accomplishes that. It's so disappointing.
 

Maethir

Member
Jul 28, 2018
370
323
I love the models in this game but holy christ is it hard to follow even using the damn walk-through. It really should have been broken down into specific paths instead of jumbling them all together like that
 

Maethir

Member
Jul 28, 2018
370
323
He definitely has an ambitious vision and I applaud that. The execution is just completely wrong for several reasons:

  1. You can't have a thriller/mystery story with branching storylines and allow the users to dictate which characters get screentime in each update. Full stop. It's just not going to be possible to have a coherent story. Everyone likes Penelope. Great, but what happens if Hannah is essential to a plot point or pivotal scene? Now you have to rewrite or replot the story you were planning or you have to make it up as you go along (terrible idea). Users dictating character storylines is best suited for sandbox games, not multi-branching narratives.
  2. Too many characters were introduced too fast. I've seen people make Game of Thrones comparisons, and not just because the dev has lifted plot points wholesale from that show (the Doctor tellling three different people three different shipments in order to ferret out the rat, lifted directly from season 2 of GoT). Large casts are great, but there is too much going on. Characters need to be introduced more slowly. Focus on the wife, step-daughter, and her friends and how that interacts with the history he has with Jessica. There was no need to introduce a mechanic, a sister-in-law the MC knocked up, a horny doctor, etc, etc, etc... It's simply too much and distracts from the core narrative, which is now buried under a mountain of side characters
  3. The lack of scene transitions is jarring and makes the audience confused. This was one of the biggest problems in Batman v. Superman and it's the same thing here. The audience doesn't realize it's in a new scene until we're well into it. Transitions give us time to digest what we've just seen and prepare for the next part of the story. It's especially important when we're jumping around in the timeline because understanding the chronology of events is important for the audience, especially if the characters are not aware of them. We have to know what they don't know yet.
  4. Too many storylines going on simultaneously means things get lost in the mix. There might be one storyline for Dusk, but there are multiple points in time that the storyline occurs. Each time an event occurs at a different point in time, even if it's with the same characters, in the audience's mind it's another story thread we have to keep track off. It's simply overwhelming once these start stacking up.
I'm planning on giving it a couple of more releases, but I'm not hopeful. The dev needs to streamline this thing in a major way. Short of a complete rewrite, I'm not sure how he accomplishes that. It's so disappointing.
100% agree I restarted the game from scratch trying to follow the walk-through as best as possible. I want to focus on Penelope and Hannah but because of the way it is all laid out in the walk-through it is hard to figure out what options to choose. Love the Models but without a better walk-through it is almost unplayable for me right now
 

CharleyT

Active Member
Jun 12, 2018
768
340


Overview:
The idea behind my novel/game is that after the incident in the introduction, you return home to your wife and step-daughter, and are reassigned to a cushty job whilst recovering. This job will be working as a School Resource Officer, but as you are recovering and not allowed on active duty, you take on the role of step-in Gym Teacher for a group of 18+ girls who all failed to graduate the prior year. You'll have the options of focusing on your career, family or sex life. Different scenarios and scenes will be available depending on your choices.​

Thread Updated: 2019-05-07
Release Date: 2019-05-06
Developer: White Phantom Games -
Censorship: None
Version: 0.18
OS: Win/Linux/Mac
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Change-Log:
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Old saves are not compatible with v.017

Download
Win: - - - -
Mac v0.16: - - -
Linux v0.16: - -
Others: COMPRESSED -
UNOFFICIAL ANDROID

Extras:
Walkthrough by @rick87.

View attachment 124690 View attachment 124691 View attachment 124688 View attachment 124685 View attachment 124686 View attachment 124687 View attachment 147840 View attachment 147841 View attachment 147842
There is just a ton of variations to this game! lol Almost too many choices, but I'll try them all. hehe
 

CharleyT

Active Member
Jun 12, 2018
768
340
There is just a ton of variations to this game! lol Almost too many choices, but I'll try them all. hehe
And P.S. I didn't use the walkthrough. I just do what I like, and then rollback if I decide to try another option.
 

ThunderRob

Devoted Member
May 10, 2018
9,497
26,606
He definitely has an ambitious vision and I applaud that. The execution is just completely wrong for several reasons:

  1. You can't have a thriller/mystery story with branching storylines and allow the users to dictate which characters get screentime in each update. Full stop. It's just not going to be possible to have a coherent story. Everyone likes Penelope. Great, but what happens if Hannah is essential to a plot point or pivotal scene? Now you have to rewrite or replot the story you were planning or you have to make it up as you go along (terrible idea). Users dictating character storylines is best suited for sandbox games, not multi-branching narratives.
  2. Too many characters were introduced too fast. I've seen people make Game of Thrones comparisons and not just because the dev has lifted plot points wholesale from that show (the Doctor tellling three different people three different shipments in order to ferret out the rat, lifted directly from season 2 of GoT). Large casts are great, but there is too much going on. Characters need to be introduced more slowly. Focus on the wife, step-daughter, and her friends and how that interacts with the history he has with Jessica. There was no need to introduce a mechanic, a sister-in-law the MC knocked up, a horny doctor, etc, etc, etc... It's simply too much and distracts from the core narrative, which is now buried under a mountain of side characters
  3. The lack of scene transitions is jarring and makes the audience confused. This was one of the biggest problems in Batman v. Superman and it's the same thing here. The audience doesn't realize it's in a new scene until we're well into it. Transitions give us time to digest what we've just seen and prepare for the next part of the story. It's especially important when we're jumping around in the timeline because understanding the chronology of events is important for the audience, especially if the characters are not aware of them. We have to know what they don't know yet.
  4. Too many storylines going on simultaneously means things get lost in the mix. There might be one storyline for Dusk, but there are multiple points in time that the storyline occurs. Each time an event occurs at a different point in time, even if it's with the same characters, in the audience's mind it's another story thread we have to keep track of. It's simply overwhelming once these start stacking up.
I'm planning on giving it a couple of more releases, but I'm not hopeful. The dev needs to streamline this thing in a major way. Short of a complete rewrite, I'm not sure how he accomplishes that. It's so disappointing.
well said..the sister,doctor,mechanic,extra girls at the party,accountant girl and a couple others...excess baggage...pare it down to..Wife,Jessica in coma,Penelope/Hanna,McKenna,Mercedes and the blonde teacher..thats plenty..the dame you can have threesome with wife is fine..it fits..the teachers daughters are fine as they are an obstacle/connection to her romance path..Mercedes is fine as she is your "WTF have i done!!!"McKenna is basically your partner now at work so it leading to romance fits well..Penelope/Hanna are the two waifs in love with the hunky tough older man..and Jessica is the catalyst for all the illegal shit that will hit your fan...to me..that is PLENTY..the rest confuse the shit out of me..LOL
 

Deleted member 997153

I am a meat popsicle
Donor
Game Developer
Nov 7, 2018
1,081
6,948
well said..the sister,doctor,mechanic,extra girls at the party,accountant girl and a couple others...excess baggage...pare it down to..Wife,Jessica in coma,Penelope/Hanna,McKenna,Mercedes and the blonde teacher..thats plenty..the dame you can have threesome with wife is fine..it fits..the teachers daughters are fine as they are an obstacle/connection to her romance path..Mercedes is fine as she is your "WTF have i done!!!"McKenna is basically your partner now at work so it leading to romance fits well..Penelope/Hanna are the two waifs in love with the hunky tough older man..and Jessica is the catalyst for all the illegal shit that will hit your fan...to me..that is PLENTY..the rest confuse the shit out of me..LOL
I completely forgot about the accountant girl and the stripper. There are so many characters I'm already losing track of who's been introduced!
 

ThunderRob

Devoted Member
May 10, 2018
9,497
26,606
I completely forgot about the accountant girl and the stripper. There are so many characters I'm already losing track of who's been introduced!
the point nailed on the head..losing track..thats not a good thing..LOL
if you absolutely NEED a WT to figure a game out..you messed up methinks..lol..WT should be last ditch effort to find that mcguffin.
 
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4.20 star(s) 37 Votes