thanks for the feedback! I hope it’s clear that I dont hate constructive criticism because I feel like I’m still and always learning. So it’s always nice to see what others think especially when it’s put across so well like this. I guess I’m too much of a weeb sometimes and just love throwing in silly humor even for badass characters because that’s what I loved in most anime - when you realize this goofy mf can take on an entire village. Granted, that shouldn’t be the way to write all the time, I definitely understand the humor needs to be balanced with the drama more now because the plot is out there.
So my intentions about Nevaeha making Astrid train mc are that Astrid is the only person from Nevaeha’s past who’s still with her so she’s one of the few people who know who she is (she has a story that will come up that you can be a part of) , which is why she trusts Astrid with such an important task. Remember that Ivar is the person to really bring out mcs strength while Nevaeha(now Astrid) is only tasked with making him somewhat decent before Ivar steps in so it’s very general training.
I also wanted to show Nevaeha training a lot because she’s a badass and it didn’t really show during her first fight. Which is why I wanted her to realize how far she’s fallen compared to what she was. I thought it wouldn’t make sense for her to almost lose to some infamous thug and then in the next fight, she’s slapping people left and right.
Hope my pov helped! As always, feel free to ask more if something isn’t clear.
No, thank you for replying to both comments!
Just to let you know, I still like parts of the update.
Such as that Amaris scene in the end, you did an excellent job of hyping him up as a main villain.
Something that I wanted to ask; will we be seeing some other pretty powerful vamps too besides Amaris?
In the humans side, we have (correct me if I'm wrong in any point):
- Alaric (who's a King now, but I'm guessing he was a great warrior back in the day and still has some skills)
- Ivar (trained by the former Swordbearer, who was MC's mom)
- Vera (skilled in archery, also likely to be one of the former company of King Alaric)
- 3 other special individuals (all former company of Alaric, whom only Vera kept in touch?)
Already there seems to be 6 veterans who are likely to be on Humans side.
Amaris is definitely peak in terms of vampire's power, but it does make me think "Does he have perhaps have loyal vampire captains who are not quite at his level, but still fairly close?"
Not gonna lie, might be pretty cool to see something like that.
So far we've only seen vamp foot soldiers, or lower ranked vamps, and when Amaris sees Alaric with other veterans, he does his evil smirk and responds by sending his captains to wreck havoc.
I love seeing characters being put through the wringer, struggling in the conflict, and powerful vamp Captains doing Amaris's bidding (so that he doesn't do everything himself) could be quite an interesting wrinkle, at least in my eyes.
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