I won't submit a review at this point because I couldn't give it as high a rating as I would like. The writing is decent but, it's biggest drawback is too much talk about the weather... You could improve the immersion by making the dialogue more conversational and giving it a quicker pace. Chapter 1 really drags in places and chapter 2 is only better because there is more action. Visually it is just too dark. I understand the reason for a night raid and a night kidnapping but, the lighting really needs work. As it is now... can't see a damn thing. The story telling is pretty good and there is definitely potential... That said... Let's see what the next iteration and any fixes bring.
