Lots of stuff there, I'll see what I can help with!
1. I don't think anyone has made a full guide for every side quest or event, at least I haven't seen one. The lamia
likes it if you're filthy.. For the head of the ghost
talk to the lamia or the witch, they should be able to help you out. For the ruler of Jagu Island
talk to the ambassador, she can remind you a bit of what you have to do: find the rod and get the two blessings. It is possible to lock yourself out of ever being able to pick a ruler if you mess up and bestow these things without having a clear goal! Affection points for people in general or do you mean the lewdness counter in upper left corner? The rest of the things will become clearer as you get farther (I hope), I think you have lots of stuff still to find!
2. Yes I am! It's been a while since the last update because of my pc exploding and me having to wait a bit for a new one, and an avalanche of real life boring work after things have started getting back to normal. But 0.4 is juuust around the corner now. I upload releases to my discord server first, and also post teasers and such there. Also lots of people around there to help with questions and hints, and I'm around most of the time.
3. Saves are in their separate folder and won't disappear if you just delete the old version and start up the new one, they should appear just fine. For the upcoming update old saves should work fine (knock on wood), earlier the game had to be started over.
I hope this helps a bit. And again, thanks a lot! That's what makes it worth making this