@lacikris Not only am I fortunate to have a wife that is open-minded, but I am really blessed to have one who not only is willing to allow me and who will even aid me in my creation of erotica, but one who has tolerated and put up with my particular brand of unusualness for going on 25 years now... I consider myself quite lucky to be brutally honest.
@Thornhill It most certainly takes a large measure of patience and trust (as it should in any relationship) to build the sort of bond that is necessary to have an individual step outside of their boundaries of comfort to try something new. In the case with my own wife, her previous relationship was one of mental abuse by her boyfriend who's own insecurity in himself caused him to be a control freak that repeatedly treated her selfishly and constantly attacked her self-esteem.
Repeated actions of trust building needed to be established and executed on a continual basis before any real form of openness either sexually or relationship-wise could be enacted on, in short, requiring me to sacrifice my own wants, needs and desires to a degree needed to happen.
As you mentioned and suggested, it is fortunate that I am a "Giving" kind of person, rather than a "Taker" which enabled me the ability to win her trust and break her out of the shell that she had erected around herself as a result of her previous relationship.
For those who are reading this, let me tell you something that I discovered as a result of those self-sacrificing actions...
Contrary to popular belief and societal prattle, to be a "Giver"... whether in a relationship or life itself, doesn't make or mean that one is 'weak'; just the opposite actually.
To be a 'giver' means that you need to be self-confident in who you are and in your abilities, to the point where people will often see your determination and confidence as a form of conceit; but your belief in yourself, your abilities and your giving nature will cause them to "open up" and be more "receptive" to you and your suggestions, allowing you a sort of "power" over your life, and in others, that you'd never have through brute-force tactics...
Don't fake it either... truly, it will take only a very short time before they see the bullshit for what it is if you try to fake it; I mean to actually trust in yourself and in your abilities enough to put other people's needs above your own and see the change that occurs and the level of power that people will give to you... it is amazing and a bit frightening.
Understand, it comes with both a great level of responsibility of one's self to not abuse it and also requires an understanding, knowledge and skill to detect, know and quickly deal with those that seek to try and take advantage of your giving nature... truly, it really proves true the old adage and proverb that it is "easier to catch more flies with honey than with vinegar".
Just a little personal observation from a person (myself) who also used to be selfish in the past...