- Dec 11, 2017
- 347
- 1,288
- Thread starter doubblenow
- Start date
No worries, not going to abandon the gameStar Wars has a curse that all are abandoned.
it was just a bit hard in the RL department for months but I am confident that the game is now going to be more regularly updated It is still only a one-man show
and as an example, currently, I am trying to get my head around a " Starship Battles " like space combat implementation.I am a coding amateur
and I am aware that the goals I have set for the game are high, but nothing that is impossible.Having a regular daytime job and a family leaves the Time budget a bit low, but I think as the fanbase grows and the support possibly too. I should be able to get me some help and make the game I intend it to be.
Sure it would be easier to just have some run of the mill plot that just serves as an excuse to meet some girls, include a button force persuade and let the player enjoy a handfull of sex scenes. But honestly, I love the universe too much to do such crap.
I mean take a look at
SWe1: The Warrior's Heart by Mortze
I loved it
It is a nice story, that fits in the universe, nice characters and great renders.
I hope I am able to get there quality-wise.
TIll then, I hope you guys can bear with me, and let me make my mistakes and learn from them
Last edited:
- Dec 11, 2017
- 347
- 1,288
Very nice to hear that. I'll be following your project closely.No worries, not going to abandon the game
It is still only a one-man show
I am a coding amateur
Having a regular daytime job and a family leaves the Time budget a bit low, but I think as the fanbase grows and the support possibly too. I should be able to get me some help and make the game I intend it to be.
Sure it would be easier to just have some run of the mill plot that just serves as an excuse to meet some girls, include a button force persuade and let the player enjoy a handfull of sex scenes. But honestly, I love the universe too much to do such crap.
I mean take a look at
SWe1: The Warrior's Heart by Mortze
I loved it
It is a nice story, that fits in the universe, nice characters and great renders.
I hope I am able to get ther quality-wise.
TIll then, I hope you guys can bear with me, and let me make my mistakes and learn from them
Good luck.
- Oct 23, 2017
- 104
- 99
Hello everyone!
This is another Star Wars theme that makes me excited to play ... just for that fact it is interesting! But I would like to leave a tip from the DEV ...
Don't try to put a perfect story, in the perfect environment ... in a perfect world ... and in the end, forget to also put the perfect women, with perfect sensuality and perfect sex !!
There is another game that was "Perfect" but forgot that item, which for those who are here, is very important!
Note: I will download and test it now!
See you soon!
This is another Star Wars theme that makes me excited to play ... just for that fact it is interesting! But I would like to leave a tip from the DEV ...
Don't try to put a perfect story, in the perfect environment ... in a perfect world ... and in the end, forget to also put the perfect women, with perfect sensuality and perfect sex !!
There is another game that was "Perfect" but forgot that item, which for those who are here, is very important!
Note: I will download and test it now!
See you soon!
- Nov 14, 2017
- 59,221
- 29,494
disney and prev. lucasfilm might have made "offer" which can't be refused or dev ends up court.Star Wars has a curse that all are abandoned.
- Nov 14, 2017
- 59,221
- 29,494
- Oct 23, 2017
- 104
- 99
Hello everyone!
How can I say, for a start I would rate it 8 ... yes, because it was very committed to maintaining the best possible work!
I want to thank Dev who thought about the sexual side ... also the side of the story that needs to make sense. I really liked to see that the choice really changes the course of history ... but this has a danger:
At any given time, you will have to develop multiple sides (Paths) and it will cost time and effort ... I hope you don't get lost in it and end up giving up the game. It is promising for me!
I will follow and maybe sponsor the work if I continue the current interesting segment!
Good work and luck in the next!
How can I say, for a start I would rate it 8 ... yes, because it was very committed to maintaining the best possible work!
I want to thank Dev who thought about the sexual side ... also the side of the story that needs to make sense. I really liked to see that the choice really changes the course of history ... but this has a danger:
At any given time, you will have to develop multiple sides (Paths) and it will cost time and effort ... I hope you don't get lost in it and end up giving up the game. It is promising for me!
I will follow and maybe sponsor the work if I continue the current interesting segment!
Good work and luck in the next!
Thanks, apollo32Hello everyone!
How can I say, for a start I would rate it 8 ... yes, because it was very committed to maintaining the best possible work!
I want to thank Dev who thought about the sexual side ... also the side of the story that needs to make sense. I really liked to see that the choice really changes the course of history ... but this has a danger:
At any given time, you will have to develop multiple sides (Paths) and it will cost time and effort ... I hope you don't get lost in it and end up giving up the game. It is promising for me!
I will follow and maybe sponsor the work if I continue the current interesting segment!
Good work and luck in the next!
I am sadly aware of the fact that I am spending almost as much time on the Intro as some other games need to progress to 50% of the plot.
Sure the complexity of the storylines management, and keeping track of it is the main complexity driver.
The other thing is, I am really new to coding and Renpy, so I take probably 300-500% time to do stuff compared to experienced devs/coders.
But honestly, reading a positive review makes up for the headache
As a side note, I would really love to hear from you, what is "bad/wrong" with the grammar.
As a non-native speaker, I admit I haven't been able to find the problem you guys are addressing.
So I kindly ask of you to show me a few lines that are bad/wrong and how it should be ... maybe we can work it out together
- Oct 6, 2019
- 152
- 824
So I am not an English teacher or anything but I gave a couple of examples of bad grammar and sentence structure. I explained my reasoning behind most changes so hopefully you can understand some mistakes. Like I said, I am not a teacher and I could be wrong with some of these. I hope it helps you anyways.Thanks, apollo32
I am sadly aware of the fact that I am spending almost as much time on the Intro as some other games need to progress to 50% of the plot.
Sure the complexity of the storylines management, and keeping track of it is the main complexity driver.
The other thing is, I am really new to coding and Renpy, so I take probably 300-500% time to do stuff compared to experienced devs/coders.
But honestly, reading a positive review makes up for the headache
As a side note, I would really love to hear from you, what is "bad/wrong" with the grammar.
As a non-native speaker, I admit I haven't been able to find the problem you guys are addressing.
So I kindly ask of you to show me a few lines that are bad/wrong and how it should be ... maybe we can work it out together
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content.
Log in or register now.
So here are a few examples of bad grammar and run-on sentences:
1:
"Our dance was perfect, it felt like we belonged together, in this exact moment we synced and moved like a single body."
So this is a run on sentence. Basically they are 3 sentences unnecessarily crammed into one. You can fix this by simply making them separate sentences or adding a conjunction word such as but or and:
"Our dance was perfect and it felt like we belonged together. We were synced and we moved like a single body."
2:
"The it seemed like the entire universe just stopped, there was only you, Naida and the music."
This probably should be written like:
"It felt like the entire universe just stopped. There was only you, Naida, and the music."
I changed seemed to felt as it fits more naturally in my eyes. The original sentence dragged on a bit so I separated it into two.
3:
"Its strange, I really like it. Maybe I stay here for a while after the contract."
There are quite a number of mistakes here. First, Its should be It's. When written like that it means It is. So "It is strange".
Next, I really like it should probably be changed. It currently is rather open-ended. What does she like? I think it should be written, "It's strange, I really like dancing with him." There are a lot of ways to write this but I think that is probably the easiest way to get the point across while still sounding natural. Last, Maybe I stay here needs a linking verb and should be written as, "Maybe I will stay here for a while after I am done with the contract."
"It's strange, I really like dancing with him. Maybe I will stay here for a while after I am done with the contract."
4:
"After a series of figures, Biggs takes Naida into a spinning figure, and she lands in his private space, almost hugging him."
First, I think "after a series of figures" is just unnecessary, we see pictures of them dancing and it was already explained that they were dancing. It is just repeating already understood information. Next, Biggs takes Naida into a spinning figure. You use the word figure again. I'm not certain what you are trying to say but in general you want to avoid using the exact same word multiple times in a sentence. It starts to sound unnatural. Next, and she lands in his private space, almost hugging him. So private space isn't really how you would say that. I assume you mean she lands close to him. So you have to say it differently. Again, the sentence is long and clunky. I will attempt to rewrite it while hopefully capturing what you originally intended.
"Biggs twirls Naida and she lands with her body pressed up against his."
The sentence is a lot cleaner and pretty much should convey the exact same meaning as the original just with a lot less words.
5:
"Not good, maybe I enjoyed me a bit too much."
It should be written:
"Not good, maybe I enjoyed myself a bit too much."
I hope this helps explain a few mistakes. I think in general, these are mistakes that will be caught by having an editor. Even if you are perfectly fluent, mistakes like this happen pretty often. If you want to go over more examples or something feel free to dm me or whatever.
I just want to reiterate that I am not an English major but I am fluent and English and have taken a lot college level English and Writing courses. Even then, I still make countless errors so take my suggestions with a grain of salt. I definitely could be wrong about some of them. On another note, good luck with the game. It is very interesting and has a lot of potential. Hope to see a lot more from you in the future.
Last edited:
Thank YOU oysterkeeper!
I got what you are pointing at, and hope to avoid it in future. (again one of those stacked sentences I seem to like them!
It has been a bit of a trademark of mine to use those neverending sentences for my entire career I got to keep it a bit more straight to the point.
3:
"It's strange, I really like it. Maybe I stay here for a while after the contract."
I was trying to use incomplete sentences and wording, to illustrate that she is having difficulties to form a straight thought at the moment.
But you helped me a lot.
I will try to heed the advice you've kindly given.
I got what you are pointing at, and hope to avoid it in future. (again one of those stacked sentences
I seem to like them!It has been a bit of a trademark of mine to use those neverending sentences for my entire career
I got to keep it a bit more straight to the point.3:
"It's strange, I really like it. Maybe I stay here for a while after the contract."
I was trying to use incomplete sentences and wording, to illustrate that she is having difficulties to form a straight thought at the moment.
But you helped me a lot.
I will try to heed the advice you've kindly given.
Huh, this came as a very decent surprise.
Was rather enjoyable so far, storyline was interesting enough for me to actively keep reading. Sure, grammar could use some work, but it was overall fairly readable. Felt more like someone writing it with proper english knowledge, just without (or at least too little) proofreading. But I'd argue that's fine enough for a work-in-progress. Might as well focus on the interesting parts for now, and leave the proofreading to others/later.
The amount of different skills feels... a bit high. Not necessarily a bad thing. But I'd rather have fewer, properly fleshed out ones, than have a big list with only a few things to each of them.
The "romance" parts also felt rather... rushed, to say it nicely. To the point it felt rather unnatural/forced. And I mean just the actual romance part, I don't have an issue with the girls being open to have some fun early on in the game. I could see it as the force being at work, but I feel that'd leave the girls in a fairly ... boring spot.
Considering this seems to be a game that aims to be at least somewhat diverse, instead of just being a simple straight up story with maybe a few variations, I feel like that should also apply to the girls, beyond just a simple "who do you choose". Let me put in some work to get into their pants.
Maybe it's too early to really get a good picture, and I just got an entirely wrong idea, who knows.
Just wanted to share some early thoughts, as thanks for the welcome surprise this already turned out to be.
Was rather enjoyable so far, storyline was interesting enough for me to actively keep reading. Sure, grammar could use some work, but it was overall fairly readable. Felt more like someone writing it with proper english knowledge, just without (or at least too little) proofreading. But I'd argue that's fine enough for a work-in-progress. Might as well focus on the interesting parts for now, and leave the proofreading to others/later.
The amount of different skills feels... a bit high. Not necessarily a bad thing. But I'd rather have fewer, properly fleshed out ones, than have a big list with only a few things to each of them.
The "romance" parts also felt rather... rushed, to say it nicely. To the point it felt rather unnatural/forced. And I mean just the actual romance part, I don't have an issue with the girls being open to have some fun early on in the game. I could see it as the force being at work, but I feel that'd leave the girls in a fairly ... boring spot.
Considering this seems to be a game that aims to be at least somewhat diverse, instead of just being a simple straight up story with maybe a few variations, I feel like that should also apply to the girls, beyond just a simple "who do you choose". Let me put in some work to get into their pants.
Maybe it's too early to really get a good picture, and I just got an entirely wrong idea, who knows.
Just wanted to share some early thoughts, as thanks for the welcome surprise this already turned out to be.
Sorry if this has already been asked, I tried to search for it but couldn't find it. Will this game include a mix of oc and real characters of exclusively oc? either way this game has a lot of potential with extremely good renders, best of luck.
Hi bobbobbly,
thank you for your comment.
I must admit, I don't really understand the terms OC and real characters. If you don't mind could you clarify that?
Then I hope to be able to answer your question
basically will the game only have characters you make yourself or will it include some characters from the movies/ shows as well?
Hi bobbobbly,
thank you for your comment.
I must admit, I don't really understand the terms OC and real characters. If you don't mind could you clarify that?
Then I hope to be able to answer your question