VN Ren'Py Abandoned Family Again [v0.4.0] [F_Dot]

[2mdlhaJL]

As for now, the way the characters behave and the story is written, the damage is done. I don't know how your plans are to safe this. And as you can see from the comments of other people, I'm not alone. For now, your game won't have any priority for me and stays on ignore. I will give you the benefit of a doubt and may take a look on your next one or two updates. IF you can safe your game and convince me, that this was the right choice, I may even stick to it, but for now, there is no way I believe you can manage. You need to keep in mind, even with hints, we can only interpret what you show us (renders) and what we can read. We don't know your intentions. And as far as it goes now, nobody behaves in any way believable. Especially Olivia and the MC!

Of course you have your choice and I will respect it, but I do not want to make a very straightforward novel, in my novel a lot of things you need to think about.

There are many things in the novel that are not just what you see.

 

[2mdlhaJL]

The current decisions do not play a major role for this update. I have seen the scoring system by using the 0x52 mod.

The story is really a bit unrealistic so far. I think that the first thought of how the game should look, does not match with this update. It certainly went a different way than first thought.

Anyway, I really like the game and look forward to more updates. The spelling mistakes should be better corrected before release, because they really bother in some situations and it's hard to get back into the game.

the hints for future updates are not difficult to interpret. The way Olivia spoke at the table, Ellie is also his daughter. Unfortunately, they were interrupted before she could say it.

All in all, a great game with some weak points, but I think the dev will gain experience over time and make the game a little different. The foundation for a harem is laid and I think that should be continued otherwise it becomes really illogical. Olivia already spoke that the mc likes younger women, so it will not be difficult for them to come to terms with the fact that he also has sex with younger women.

One more recommendation. Deepl is a good translation program and you are welcome to use it.

Haha, I am using it.

However, it has some problems in translating large amounts of text.

 

[Chummie]

so why does MC has to leave i get that he killed those gang members and maybe in danger of a retaliation but then why would Lucas not also be in danger since he was to one who found out where the gang was unless he made some kind of deal whit the dead gang members brother or a boss considering it would have been a good plot for him to get close to Olivia wich he never stopped pursuing sexually at least and fund to start his own bar/club in a city wich suffer from the exact same gang

 

[kiljaeden]

It's obvious that Ellie is MC's daughter. Olivia was never interested in Lucas. There is no chance Ellie being Lucas' daughter. Some people can't read between the lines apparently.

 

[H_NGM_N666]

It's obvious that Ellie is MC's daughter. Olivia was never interested in Lucas. There is no chance Ellie being Lucas' daughter. Some people can't read between the lines apparently.

Exactly my thought But that is the problem of the most who skip the most contect with ctrl and just read the text now and then.

 

[H_NGM_N666]

Haha, I am using it.

However, it has some problems in translating large amounts of text.

Don´t give up and bring it on with this game. I like it a lot!

 

[ImperialD]

So far it looks like Ellie is probably the MCs kid and Lucas stepped in to help.

thats not what the story says ... ellie was born a couple years after mc left .. can't be mc's .. sorry

 

[H_NGM_N666]

thats not what the story says ... ellie was born a couple years after mc left .. can't be mc's .. sorry

1 year after mc left. So mc fuckt Olivia a few times bareback in the night before he left, so... Think a little and you get that Ellie is mcs daughter. What do you think would Olivia tell to Mia and Ellie? That mc is also the father of Ellie or is it not better for her to say that Lucas is the father and he help her because of that? When you read the story carefully, you get it between the lines

 

[Content_Consumer]

1 year after mc left.

Uh, 1 year would still be too long.
Gestation is 9 months, which is considerably less than 1 year.

 

[CamaroFan432]

Of course you have your choice and I will respect it, but I do not want to make a very straightforward novel, in my novel a lot of things you need to think about.

There are many things in the novel that are not just what you see.

That's alright. You don't need to make it straitforward, but there is no real reason for Olivia or the MC to lie about their relationship to each other or about the relationship of the MC to the girls. That's, at least in my opinion, plain dumb. Mostly it concerns me that they seem to lie about Ellie, because the MC has the RIGHT to know, if she is his daughter.

I hope the next update clears at least the relationships and redeems Olivia, so the MC and her can continue their relationship. I mean they wanted to get married. And I hope the MC matures A LOT in the next update, this childish behavior towards women needs to end, if this story shall attract and keep the people.

But I won't force you to cater my taste, it's your story, so you do your thing. I just wanted to make my point somewhat known, maybe it helps your story to evolve in a good way. If it changes nothing, that's also alright.

 

[lolbenis]

I see nothing wrong with them, just don't get caught. Oh and be sure you're doing the raping instead of getting raped. If anything we need more loli incest AVN's and those with psychopath MC's. Hell make a triad: loli/incest with a psychopath MC, not enough of those. That would be epic, esp if it had good Daz renders.

This man speaks the truth!

 

[H_NGM_N666]

Uh, 1 year would still be too long.
Gestation is 9 months, which is considerably less than 1 year.

Omg. When you tell a story, do you use the exact time like this?

One time, at bandcamp, 12 years/3months/14days/2hours/12minutes/30seconds ago, we saw a huge bear in the forest....

Its just a story man. I like details but i think it is unnecessary to go into so much detail. Maybe they just told 1 year so no one can chain the event to the mc, so it was maybe in reality 9 months after his departure?

 

[ImperialD]

1 year after mc left. So mc fuckt Olivia a few times bareback in the night before he left, so... Think a little and you get that Ellie is mcs daughter. What do you think would Olivia tell to Mia and Ellie? That mc is also the father of Ellie or is it not better for her to say that Lucas is the father and he help her because of that? When you read the story carefully, you get it between the lines

1 year after he left Olivia got pregnant .. not had Ellie ..... read it again

 

[ImperialD]

here's a screen of part of the convo between the MC and Olivia ... where even the MC knows Ellie is not his

 

[Canto Forte]

To which she looks surprised akin to scared to hear it.
My MC is back and determined to help her out and as much girls as he can give pleasure to.
Now there is no more problem that lucas is head deep in hookers/shagging beautiful girls.
MC is now the new house mate, the guy to keep the bartending hottie inspired, be with the family,
do good about the family hotties friends ... Make the pain of all that violent past fade away.

 

[shynos]

hello guys: I respect the criteria of others but this game is super, I hope it continues like this. all good from my side. Greetings and thanks

 

[intrigan]

Some vile creatures write all sorts of nonsense in a review about a wonderful game sparkling with humor and sheer eroticism. My advice is not to believe stupid, completely blinded cretins. Breathe in the air of a real talented game with crystallized living characters in this novel. Although the first part was created only as a prelude to further events, the second exceeded all my expectations. From my point of view, this game will become a real masterpiece if the author continues to create an unique atmosphere of genuine eroticism and light humor, which gives the game a special, incomparable piquancy.

 

[Fazed]

here's a screen of part of the convo between the MC and Olivia ... where even the MC knows Ellie is not his

I've been thinking about this. I don't believe it for second. It has to be some sort of plot device. Both of them act apprehensive when talking about it and never actually say the words. MC always finishes the sentence for them. idk dude. it's weird. Even in that scene she says "what happened with Ellie" Neither Lucas nor Olivia ever specifically state she is not his child

It could just be copium, but there's also that locked drawer in Olivia's room. I swear it's birth records lol

 

[H_NGM_N666]

here's a screen of part of the convo between the MC and Olivia ... where even the MC knows Ellie is not his

1. Olivia had no reason to fuck with Lucas. She despised him from Day 1
2. She is really in love with the mc
3. She accepted him to get married in the night before he gone
4. I don´t believe that when Olivia fucks behind his back with his best friend and get a baby, that she would stay single or not fuck any other guy in the meantime the mc get back to her.
5. Olivia was ready to lie about that the mc is not Mia´s father, then she be scared too to tell mc that Ellie is also his daughter. So he let him believe that she is from Lucas till the time comes to tell him that he is the father.
6. When he spoke to Lucas, Lucas did not 100% confirmed that he is the father of Ellie. He just said that Olivia told him that and that Lucas was not allowed to tell the mc that Ellie exist. If he had known that, the mc would get back faster and bring himself in an dangerous situation. But another story would it be, that Lucas was not allowed because Olivia was scared that the mc would hate her for that and would never coming back (but he would then also despise Mia, that would be illogic)
7. Would it not be NTR when Lucas and Olivia??? The NTR Tag is missed. So if it would be true that Lucas and Olivia... then there must be an NTR Tag and Warning. Because i hate NTR games and cheating deserves a NTR Tag right?

Soooo. Why would she sleep with Lucas and get a baby with him? I think that the chance is much bigger that the mc is the father.

I didn´t find the right place where they are talking about that but i think to remember that she was born 1 year after he left. Maybe some guy know where they talked about that?

 

[AngelsAfterDark]

17-18 year old MC towards the end of the prologue.
32-33 year old MC in CH 1.

Man what happened? A new dev/writer took over the game or something? Or was all of that(the events of Chapter 0)done just to set up another brain dead porno game with a 30 something year old MC who acts like a retarded kid?
I mean The prologue felt like the game was actually going somewhere with an interesting story and a more serious tone. MC got beaten almost to death by his dad when he was a kid. at 17 his girlfriend, Lilly dies for him and their child. At 18 the MC goes on a killing rampage to get revenge for Lilly's death, kills like 8+ dudes including a crime boss then he got engaged to Olivia and left town to protect her and his daughter. Ch 1-15 years later, dude comes back and the game just feels like a really bad comedy porn novel with a goofy retard for an MC. Seriously what happened? What went wrong? It feels like 2 different games.