VN Ren'Py Abandoned Life Happened [v0.4.3] [Kinky Shop]

[sevendustkorn1008]

True he could overpower her but the scene doesn't show he overpowering her. I'm not even asking that she could have broke free and just saying that she could turn her neck left or right then the guy would kiss her cheek, that's not so hard

I can understand that. There's a bit of unfairness on the developer's part on that. It didn't appear to be as forced as it was. I'm sure there's a shock value to account for that may have frozen a naive girl like Rachel. But it's also difficult to tell how much time actually passed. For the MC, time stood still. So, what looked like a few minutes for us (looking through the MC's eyes), could have only been a few seconds in real time.

In the end, though, the fact remains that she didn't cheat on him. Jackie revealed that it was all her plan to make it look like she was cheating on him, but Rachel never did, and spent the better part of the next year on lithium trying to numb the pain. And was suicidal too.

 

[kodey and 302 others]

I can understand that. There's a bit of unfairness on the developer's part on that. It didn't appear to be as forced as it was. I'm sure there's a shock value to account for that may have frozen a naive girl like Rachel. But it's also difficult to tell how much time actually passed. For the MC, time stood still. So, what looked like a few minutes for us (looking through the MC's eyes), could have only been a few seconds in real time.

In the end, though, the fact remains that she didn't cheat on him. Jackie revealed that it was all her plan to make it look like she was cheating on him, but Rachel never did, and spent the better part of the next year on lithium trying to numb the pain. And was suicidal too.

Well i can see your point thought i don't share it, i think that in the end the game was ambiguos to both interpretations this is why people keep talking, so i think that with the comments and the overview the others can make their decision and play or not the game.

 

[Jimayo]

ITT: A bunch of guys who've never had a girlfriend and never will complaining that a naive young girl being sexually assaulted multiple times is a cheater because, like many woman, she ignores it in the hopes that he will leave her alone eventually(rather than a confrontation that may turn real bad for her, like it so often does in the real world).

 

[mofonistik]

Predictable projection.

 

[Kinky Shop]

Please Jimayo! Let this dicussion die...
It's been 2 whole days and 2 pages stuck on that...

 

[Mayonesa]

Ok. I don't know what you're arguing then.

I was just expresing my opninion on a thing that I thought made no sense after playing the game. I'm not saying that the path should be removed, because the dev won't do it and there will always be people that like to see the woman fucking others than the MC because that's their kink.

But maybe instead of locking the path with a choice that may make the MC and incoherent character, why not choose the path, based on the way your MC acted in the past? something like, you choose to not be an asshole, didn't cheat, things like that, then you will only have the love path avaible, maybe have open the lust path too like a middle ground. Instead if your MC in the past was an asshole and thigns like that, then open the NTR path and also the lust path like a middle ground. That way you will stop any incoherent things with the MC, since you shapped the man he is in the present and how he treats women by playing the past.

I don't know, I just wanted to post my feelings and what I thought about the game and how I felt that the NTR path didn't match the MC I have seen, so I didn't understand why would it even be there to beggin with, while playing an MC that cares for the girls. I didn't say anything about other paths since I didn't play them, I was just pointing out what I thought and felt about the game, nothing more. but whatever, it's better to let this "discusion" end, because I don't want to keep defending myself from people that don't understand that I was just stating my views on a thing that to me felt like a forced kink/path that didn't fit with the MC I saw, nothing more.

 

[Kinky Shop]

I was just expresing my opninion on a thing that I thought made no sense after playing the game. I'm not saying that the path should be removed, because the dev won't do it and there will always be people that like to see the woman fucking others than the MC because that's their kink.

But maybe instead of locking the path with a choice that may make the MC and incoherent character, why not choose the path, based on the way your MC acted in the past? something like, you choose to not be an asshole, didn't cheat, things like that, then you will only have the love path avaible, maybe have open the lust path too like a middle ground. Instead if your MC in the past was an asshole and thigns like that, then open the NTR path and also the lust path like a middle ground. That way you will stop any incoherent things with the MC, since you shapped the man he is in the present and how he treats women by playing the past.

I don't know, I just wanted to post my feelings and what I thought about the game and how I felt that the NTR path didn't match the MC I have seen, so I didn't understand why would it even be there to beggin with, while playing an MC that cares for the girls. I didn't say anything about other paths since I didn't play them, I was just pointing out what I thought and felt about the game, nothing more. but whatever, it's better to let this "discusion" end, because I don't want to keep defending myself from people that don't understand that I was just stating my views on a thing that to me felt like a forced kink/path that didn't fit with the MC I saw, nothing more.

Hi Mayonesa

Did you really play the Danna content? The lust path is there exactly to act like a middle ground between lovey-dovey and the cuck path yet to be implemented. In that route there is no NTR or cuckholding at all... Unless you chose to hear Danna talking about showing herself to the old fellow in the restaurant and being groped by some dudes in a night club later on... If so that's on you buddy..."

I set up 3 different main paths for dealing with Danna and I intend to set up a fourth one where the MC just break up with her. All you have to do is choose the kind of path you like instead of feeling threatened by a path you claim you don't care for.
I'm tired of this talk, really... You spent 2 days trying to convince people the NPC is not coherent because there is a Cuck path for Danna.
Who defines how coherent the MC will be is the player by his choices. I see people complaining all the time about the lack of choices in these kind of VNs and when there are plenty of different choices that will really make a difference in the game some people still find a way of problematize that. Go figure...
I kept shut while you guys discussed a lot about this issue because I sincerely believe in the right of free speech but man this is getting tiresome...
From my perspective, after reading your last coment, the only thing that is not being coherent at this point is your argument.

 

[Mayonesa]

Hi Mayonesa
From my perspective, after reading your last coment, the only thing that is not being coherent at this point is your argument.

I just gave you my perspective and that offering a cuck path when you have chosen to not be an asshole in the past with the MC is not coherent with said MC, that's my perspective, same as you as an author has one, same as other people has another, I have explained myself why I felt that way, using things shown in your game. But it seems you either didn't read or didn't understand what I was saying. In the comment you reply to, I said that maybe if you openned path depending on the way you as the MC acted in the past instead of having a choice that could ignore everything that define your MC to that point, it would be better. I also said that the lust path should be open if you weren't or were an asshole in the past. For example you were good in the past, then you can open love path or lust path, you weren't nice, then you could open NTR path and lust path, thus making meaningful the choices in the past and making the character consistent.

Also i didn't play lust path, since it is pretty much NTR but you may not want to know what she is doing with others by what you said about it, but she still fucks around, so again it didn't match with the MC I was playing so far.

I will just say this one last time, this is just me stating my opinion, my perspective, my thoughts of the game, the MC, the story and the paths, if that is too hard for you or anyone to understand then I can't express myself better, must be because English isn't my first language.

 

[monksims]

Wow, that was something! In May, I was really impressed with the initial release. I have to say that Prologue was quite longwinded, and it took several sessions within two days to go through with it all until we got back to the actual "day one" with Danna.

Renders are gorgeous but the backstory was a bit too detailed for someone re-living the past in his mind. He shouldn't remember everything he or other people said or thought if he doesn't have a photographic memory. If I hadn't had the first taste in May, most probably I would have stopped playing before having my first kiss with Rachel. The backstory also provided more questions than answers because the initial storyline (fucking Danna) didn't actually raise too many questions from MC's past except "not working his ass off" and waking up after dreaming of (or having a nightmare about) Rachel.

The prologue was based on characters thinking and partly narrating themselves. "Day one" introduced the narrator that sometimes echoed what a character already thought or said. Maybe narrator's tag should be removed to none that previously was actually the MC thinking (that sometimes happened under MC's tag in cursive) to be methodical. I'm, personally, not fond of knowing what other characters are thinking when I'm playing as someone (Marco in this case). But, when I'm reading a book, it's natural to know what other main or side characters are thinking.

Some typos I noticed:
Choosing name: "If you choose nothing than Marco it is!"
Marco "Yeah but you didn't!" (wrong tag, should be Anderson)
These are from "day one" content: "Man your're beautiful..." - "This was sone of the best sex..." - "... licking baecame..."

Regarding saving tags they are working in a weird way: I chose to go with the love route with Danna with the first corruption the tag was "Love/Corruption Route" that was okay. But then I chose love again and I got "Mixed Route" with LLCL (same with another L). The last corruption gave me "MixedRoute" with 4 love and 2 corruption for my last save before the end of version. It should be "Love/Corruption Route" if you want to keep using those tags.

I'm happy I battled through the prologue and I'm curious to see where the story is heading. Once again, renders are awesome, especially the park scene with Rachel was simply breathtaking (old photographer's eyes, you know)! The soundtrack is working great too. If I was to rate this game, I'd give 4/5 for prologue being rather boring in the start. I'd go through with introductions in more TLDR way. Especially if we are not going to meet Anderson, Rachel, Alex, Melinda or Charlie in the main story with Danna. Sure, the past is important but what is enough for the main story. In the current state, the prologue is the main storyline and sex with Danna is the dessert. Fortunately, it's 0.2.2 so it's very early if 1.0 will be the full story so there is plenty of story to go.

PS. I didn't want to settle for compressed content so I combined 0.2.1 stuff with scripts from 0.2.2 (and a couple added jpegs). It worked awesome. But then I was curious how much space would be saved if PNGs were converted to WEBP. All PNG images in day1 directory were converted to webp in about 4½ minutes (on SSD and Ryzen 2600x using convert tool in ImageMagick package) to take only 90 MiB instead of 2.8 GiB. JPGs in compressed edition still take 305 MiB, so I'd recommend to switch over to WEBP so you don't have to play with compressed editions to "save" space. I replaced PNGs with WEBPs, restarted the game and Renpy works just fine. Running Linux, btw.

 

[desmosome]

I believe this is a mistake since I'm on the no romance path with Alex. Took her out on the car and then nothing happened, so I don't think we are dating...?

I really appreciate you having this relationship be platonic, at least on the MC's side, rather than romance vs cutting ties kind of thing. MC being cool about the trans stuff while not being interested sexually seemed very organic. I guess we are free to turn him into a cynical asshole later on (and I definitely will lol), but MC at this point in the story was a naive yet genuine dude, so I liked how this played out so far.

edit: and a bit later on the pier, there is another mention about being with Alex. Maybe there is more heh. You should maybe check the script and account for the Alex choice... unless I fucked up and picked the wrong choice or something lol.



Now this choice...


Ooof. I was looking forward to how MC might turn into an asshole or get corrupted, but this doesn't feel right. I love when games let you corrupt the male protagonist, but it has to be done in an organic way that fits the character narrative thus far. Right now, we just cleared up the misunderstanding with Rachel and they are on cloud 9. Even when he was angry he couldn't stop thinking about her or really come to hate her. At this point, there is no way that MC could be feeling this second choice.

Just off the top of my head, some scenarios that might make sense for this generally good hearted kid to go down the path of darkness:
1) Something comes up and he never has a chance to clear up the things with Rachel.
2) He talks to Rachel and they work it out, but later that batshit insane cop plants some seeds of doubt and shit to make him go crazy.
3) Rachel goes insane and does crazy shit cus shes off her meds. I duno lol
4) If you wrote the MC as being much more conflicted and damaged by the whole thing. Would have to modify a bunch of dialogues during their reunion and possibly MC's monologues before. Like for example, if he lost faith in love entirely. This would be awkward for a love/good guy path though.

I'm writing stuff as I'm playing through it, so I don't have the whole picture. However, just going by how the story flow was up until this choice, it is kind of hard to justify or head cannon going for the corruption. There needs to be an inciting incident that tests the MC's resolve and the relationship with Rachel. Then, he could either persevere and get on the good guy path, or fall to it and get corrupted.

 

[Hordragg]

Wow, that was something! In May, I was really impressed with the initial release. I have to say that Prologue was quite longwinded, and it took several sessions within two days to go through with it all until we got back to the actual "day one" with Danna.

Renders are gorgeous but the backstory was a bit too detailed for someone re-living the past in his mind. He shouldn't remember everything he or other people said or thought if he doesn't have a photographic memory. If I hadn't had the first taste in May, most probably I would have stopped playing before having my first kiss with Rachel. The backstory also provided more questions than answers because the initial storyline (fucking Danna) didn't actually raise too many questions from MC's past except "not working his ass off" and waking up after dreaming of (or having a nightmare about) Rachel.

The prologue was based on characters thinking and partly narrating themselves. "Day one" introduced the narrator that sometimes echoed what a character already thought or said. Maybe narrator's tag should be removed to none that previously was actually the MC thinking (that sometimes happened under MC's tag in cursive) to be methodical. I'm, personally, not fond of knowing what other characters are thinking when I'm playing as someone (Marco in this case). But, when I'm reading a book, it's natural to know what other main or side characters are thinking.

Some typos I noticed:
Choosing name: "If you choose nothing than Marco it is!"
Marco "Yeah but you didn't!" (wrong tag, should be Anderson)
These are from "day one" content: "Man your're beautiful..." - "This was sone of the best sex..." - "... licking baecame..."

Regarding saving tags they are working in a weird way: I chose to go with the love route with Danna with the first corruption the tag was "Love/Corruption Route" that was okay. But then I chose love again and I got "Mixed Route" with LLCL (same with another L). The last corruption gave me "MixedRoute" with 4 love and 2 corruption for my last save before the end of version. It should be "Love/Corruption Route" if you want to keep using those tags.

I'm happy I battled through the prologue and I'm curious to see where the story is heading. Once again, renders are awesome, especially the park scene with Rachel was simply breathtaking (old photographer's eyes, you know)! The soundtrack is working great too. If I was to rate this game, I'd give 4/5 for prologue being rather boring in the start. I'd go through with introductions in more TLDR way. Especially if we are not going to meet Anderson, Rachel, Alex, Melinda or Charlie in the main story with Danna. Sure, the past is important but what is enough for the main story. In the current state, the prologue is the main storyline and sex with Danna is the dessert. Fortunately, it's 0.2.2 so it's very early if 1.0 will be the full story so there is plenty of story to go.

PS. I didn't want to settle for compressed content so I combined 0.2.1 stuff with scripts from 0.2.2 (and a couple added jpegs). It worked awesome. But then I was curious how much space would be saved if PNGs were converted to WEBP. All PNG images in day1 directory were converted to webp in about 4½ minutes (on SSD and Ryzen 2600x using convert tool in ImageMagick package) to take only 90 MiB instead of 2.8 GiB. JPGs in compressed edition still take 305 MiB, so I'd recommend to switch over to WEBP so you don't have to play with compressed editions to "save" space. I replaced PNGs with WEBPs, restarted the game and Renpy works just fine. Running Linux, btw.

Finally something that's fun replying to again. Much appreciated!

While I do agree that the introduction feels quite long at the moment, it will be taking up less and less of the game's time and may just be perfect once the game is finalized. I also don't find it odd that it's as detailed as it is. After all, who's to say that it all happened exactly like the MC remembers? He may be paraphrasing or filling in dialogue for scenes he mostly remembers the feelings of. Memory can be a most peculiar thing after all. That being said, it may be prudent to offer the audience two versions of the introduction: the detailed one that's currently implemented and a briefer one using much the same images but with a stream of consciousness style of writing mostly describing motivations and feelings regarding the scene in question. The latter would also probably be more in line with what you'd expect.

The game's renders really are awesome. I find them to be set up really well and on more than one occasion admired lighting, framing, and composition.

On the topic of compression: there is no noticeable difference in quality between the original and the compressed version. Pixel-peeping reveals that some pixels switched colors but grain and texture are largely unaffected by the compression. Sadly the same can't be said about the default settings of the webp encoder:

Spoiler: comparison shot

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While it may not be noticeable without closer inspection and perhaps even be perceived as being cleaner by some, I for one am not pleased with the result. If properly set up to deliver the same perceived quality, switching to webp should still result in smaller file sizes and may thusly still be worth the while. But until then I'm more than happy with the space savings of the official compressed version.

Spoiler: technical stuff

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[desmosome]

So I dropped a review with my thoughts. Aside from the above issue with the corruption path in the prologue, I would like to hear some other people's thoughts on the narrator in chapter 1.

This absolutely did not work for me at all. Almost everything the narrator says is superfluous and actively takes you out of the dialogue that is happening. It's especially bad during the sex scenes. You don't need a narrator describing every little thing in a visual medium. On the other hand, I absolutely loved the sex dialogues. It was really hot... when not being interrupted by a third party narrator. At least in the prologue, it was the MC narrating and that can double up as an internal thought.

I think the dev got to the present timeline and thought that MC's narration wouldn't work anymore because he isn't telling us a story about the past. This is not necessarily true. You can absolutely continue to use the MC narrator. Imagine this.

We got this line with the Narrator.
"In a blink of an eye Marco threw away his trunks and held Danna once more."
"At the same time Danna held Marco, but in a much more intimate way."

If we transfer it to MC narrator.
"I immediately lose the trunks and hold Danna once more."
"She clings to me more intimately than before."

In terms of immersion and narrative flow during the scenes MC narrator is far superior. There are also many other games that use the MC narration in such fashion and they turned out very nicely. Tyrant Quest and Summer Scent to name a few. I can't remember any such games that use the omniscient third party narrator though. That's more fitting for a book, rather than a VN.

 

[M'95]

Yeah I am having exactly the same problem, thought about removing all the narator lines from the script myself.

I hope I will get used to this new style, but for now it's really weird, especially during the sex scenes.

 

[Kinky Shop]

Hello monksims!

Man... That was some feedback you got me right there!
So let me try and answer to every point you brought up:
- The backstory is the biggest part of the game right now, I know that. I just had to do the whole thing at once or the missing part would disconnect the prologue from the last part.
- I get what you mean about MC remembering details he shouldn't and other people having thoughts of their own while in MC's memories. Truth is: If I just put there things that MC remembered, A lot of what is there would be missing and I love telling a complete tale about things and people...
- About the prologue raising more questions than answering. It was intended. The prologue is the cornerstone for the whole plot and those questions you mentioned will be all answered in due time.
- The initial storyline provided by 0.1.1 was just a man fucking a woman in a bedroom were you could choose if you were falling in love with or if it was just sex... Can't get simpler than that I think...
- I understand you don't like knowing other's character's thoughts but a whole lot of other people love that about my writing and I mean a lot so I thank you for being understanding on that.
- The narrator tag came in other to fill the gap left by the MC itself... One thing is the MC narrating facts of his past... Doing the same in the present though... It just felt strange... Maybe I'll do a poll or something to know better what people’s thoughts on that are.
- Thank you so much for reporting me the typos. I just fixed them.
- About the saving tags... They seemed like a nice touch when I created them but they showed to be quite messy at times... I'll just remove them for the time being and later come with a more permanent solution... Please don't mind them. (They generate a lot of code and stress for me)
- One of the reasons I was thorough in the prologue is because the characters introduced there aren't just people from MC's past. They will be in his future as well. Imagine the thrill people who loved Alex for example when they see her again, now older and the possibility of her coming back to MC's life... As a friend, a lover or as the one... I'm just saying...
- The game is still a newborn... There is just so much to happen yet. The prologue is now canon and I'll not be messing with it in any way. Once the game is long enough it will become just a small part of the whole that's for sure.
- About the size: It's becoming a problem already. My last update was sort of a test. People got bothered about the compressed word in the name. Other than that not one single complain about quality. Next update will be the same, just without the word. I tested the png and the jpeg version of the file and I couldn't see any difference between them except for the huge difference in size.
Once again thank you man for your feedback. It means a lot!

 

[Kinky Shop]

Hi desmosome

Thanks for dedicating time giving me your thoughts on some aspects of the game. It means a lot really.

About that part of your text: "edit: and a bit later on the pier, there is another mention about being with Alex. Maybe there is more heh. You should maybe check the script and account for the Alex choice... unless I fucked up and picked the wrong choice or something lol."
Could you please point me the exact line so I can fix it? Doesn't need to be in the script, just write me the phrase in game please. Just to make sure: It happens in the non-romantic Alex's path right?

About the other comments you made. I promise you I'll give them some thought. Perhaps some good can come out of it.
Now about the narrator... For real: There are people who loved it... Also there people who hated it... As I said on my last comment: I'll create a poll in my patreon page and I'll abide by the result ok? I'll make it an open poll so please vote.

Once more, thank you so much.

 

[Kinky Shop]

New poll about the Narrator guy fellows. Please vote ok?

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[desmosome]

New poll about the Narrator guy fellows. Please vote ok?

You must be registered to see the links

Don't have patreon acc, so I can't vote on it. But just add a +1 to going back to MC narrator for the final count will ya

as for the Alex line at the pier.. let me go check it out again.


edit: "Things were nice between me and Alex. I liked her a lot, but she was not the one, you know..."

 

[M'95]

New poll about the Narrator guy fellows. Please vote ok?

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I loved the prologue and the emotions it made me feel, It was like being a teenager again with all the insecurities.

About the poll, you should be able to make a poll here on F95, as I dont think many here have a Patreon account.

Thanks for this great escape from my boring life

 

[Rocc46]

Yep, she didn't know how to react, though she did explain to the MC her side of the entire thing. So the question becomes does the MC believe the girl he loves and grew up with (since 13 they were inseparable and best friends) or does he believe that she would lie, manipulate, and cheat on her best friend? Personally I think the fact that so many people seem to believe that she cheated even after she explained in game, even after the Dev has said she didn't cheat, is more a statement on the people playing and not the game itself.

This is an old discussion but I just caught up with the thread so if you don't want to get into the old stuff again, don't read this...

Spoiler

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[desmosome]

Kinky Shop
By the way, if you want some inspiration on a MC narrating stuff in the present, you should check out Summer Scent. It's really not problematic at all. The transition will go smoothly from the past tense narration (from the prologue) to the present tense narration in the following chapters.