Fierzo

New Member
Sep 28, 2020
6
9
您好!感谢您的建议。
Since this is an English forum, I'll leave you a message in English.
I update each episode in about 1000-2000 lines of plain text.
If you are interested in this, I would like to add your contact information for discussion.(Discord or E-mail)
my Discord: ozpoz#4441
 
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claus001

Active Member
Feb 15, 2020
684
1,426
Nice renders but unfortunately I have no idea what is going on. The plot is completely lost in translation. I recommend using a professional translator, they say what is fee per 1000 words and are not that expensive. If you want to save money you can always go to Chinese-English forums and ask free translation/grammar check. Often people are rather picky what to translate/check but porngame with good renders should attract plenty of volunteers.

Anyway, first I thought this game was done by a Slav before Chinese text appeared. Quite sad indeed that when males are masculine and females feminine you just know this game was made in the Eastern half of the globe.
 

Jas0nTon

Creators of "Mayfly"
Game Developer
Jul 2, 2022
112
386
Nice renders but unfortunately I have no idea what is going on. The plot is completely lost in translation. I recommend using a professional translator, they say what is fee per 1000 words and are not that expensive. If you want to save money you can always go to Chinese-English forums and ask free translation/grammar check. Often people are rather picky what to translate/check but porngame with good renders should attract plenty of volunteers.

Anyway, first I thought this game was done by a Slav before Chinese text appeared. Quite sad indeed that when males are masculine and females feminine you just know this game was made in the Eastern half of the globe.
I am very sorry to bring you a bad experience, and thank you for your good comments on the art, I will optimize the text problem in future versions, to bring players a good playing experience is my primary goal.
As the game is made by me alone, I have no experience in developing similar games before this, of course, this is not an excuse for me to shirk my responsibility.
Once again, I apologize for the bad gaming experience.
 
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The Rogue Trader

Active Member
Sep 12, 2021
510
755
Funnily I have the opposite experience of claus001: what's going on is always explained over and over and over and that's my main criticism of the game.
Eh, it's always true: you can't please everyone.

In the bleak future of 2038, there will be no professionalism

First Impressions:

Animated menu: cool
Settings menu: the font colour is difficult to read.
English language is the default: thanks.
I hit "Start" and I stared at a black screen for 30 seconds before I got the idea of clicking. Is this necessary? (Note: if there are supposed to be sounds explaining what's happening, ignore me.)
Font of Character names: not important, but a bit difficult to read. The main text font is OK.
Nikita's endless 4th wall breaking speech ("Thank you for downloading"): is it really necessary? But I must add that having boobs to help pass time is a good idea, I'll keep it in mind.

The Good:
The visuals are stunning! In general, I don't like HS renders, but I've to compliment your skill and taste!
The camerawork is good, too. Nice use of parallax effects, it's something that not everyone does.
These two factors easily bear the load for the whole game by themselves, but it also seems that your main characters have different speech patterns, and this is good, even if most of it is probably lost in translation.
The sex scene is quite good. I like a girl with some spirit. Maybe having more sex in future? Asking for a friend... :sneaky:

Technical problems:
After Nolan enters the bar, some characters still have an occasional line in Chinese. I counted 6 cases.

Maybe it's just me, but...:
"Gigi, you still owe me a lot, don't forget" and "tch" animations are in loop. I think they would work better if done only once.
Most of the stage-comments are useless and just break immersion. "OK, I'll leave you alone. Bye." - "She exits"; "Let's go to room 306" - "You walk to the third floor."
The icon-face thing... Please, reconsider. That was immensely annoying and immersion breaking.

In short:
Very good start! The project has some serious weaknesses with the plot and the dialogues (see below), but it's very promising. Keep up the good work!

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What's up with all cyberpunk action games having bump-meet-cutie scenes? I haven't revisited the genre since 1998, did I miss the birth of a new canon in the meantime?


"My name is Erika"
"Same thing as the theme song of the 1940 Tour de France armoured car race?"
What the...?!
 

Jas0nTon

Creators of "Mayfly"
Game Developer
Jul 2, 2022
112
386
Funnily I have the opposite experience of claus001: what's going on is always explained over and over and over and that's my main criticism of the game.
Eh, it's always true: you can't please everyone.

In the bleak future of 2038, there will be no professionalism

First Impressions:

Animated menu: cool
Settings menu: the font colour is difficult to read.
English language is the default: thanks.
I hit "Start" and I stared at a black screen for 30 seconds before I got the idea of clicking. Is this necessary? (Note: if there are supposed to be sounds explaining what's happening, ignore me.)
Font of Character names: not important, but a bit difficult to read. The main text font is OK.
Nikita's endless 4th wall breaking speech ("Thank you for downloading"): is it really necessary? But I must add that having boobs to help pass time is a good idea, I'll keep it in mind.

The Good:
The visuals are stunning! In general, I don't like HS renders, but I've to compliment your skill and taste!
The camerawork is good, too. Nice use of parallax effects, it's something that not everyone does.
These two factors easily bear the load for the whole game by themselves, but it also seems that your main characters have different speech patterns, and this is good, even if most of it is probably lost in translation.
The sex scene is quite good. I like a girl with some spirit. Maybe having more sex in future? Asking for a friend... :sneaky:

Technical problems:
After Nolan enters the bar, some characters still have an occasional line in Chinese. I counted 6 cases.

Maybe it's just me, but...:
"Gigi, you still owe me a lot, don't forget" and "tch" animations are in loop. I think they would work better if done only once.
Most of the stage-comments are useless and just break immersion. "OK, I'll leave you alone. Bye." - "She exits"; "Let's go to room 306" - "You walk to the third floor."
The icon-face thing... Please, reconsider. That was immensely annoying and immersion breaking.

In short:
Very good start! The project has some serious weaknesses with the plot and the dialogues (see below), but it's very promising. Keep up the good work!

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What's up with all cyberpunk action games having bump-meet-cutie scenes? I haven't revisited the genre since 1998, did I miss the birth of a new canon in the meantime?


"My name is Erika"
"Same thing as the theme song of the 1940 Tour de France armoured car race?"
What the...?!
Wow,WOW,WOW~!

First of all! I must thank you for playing my game seriously and for being willing to write so many reviews. (Gosh, I will always love these serious friends who play, and their every suggestion is my motivation to keep going!)

You are right, I will adjust the font color in the next version, because I have tried many colors (like white or something or other), but I think they are not as good in perception as brown is more in line with the title page theme.

So I added a stroke for them, which will make them relatively more visible. Not enough obviously, it's not enough, I'll continue to optimize this in the next version, thanks for the suggestion!

I will remove this click-to-continue effect from the animation after "start" in the next version, I didn't notice this detail you mentioned, sorry for wasting your time!

The opening speech of Nikita... More of an expression of my personal enthusiasm, I'd love to see people willing to tour my work, if you think this is too wordy, I'll optimize this content in the next version (of course, I personally think the rendering style of that paragraph I also like, so I wrote some more dialogue, LOL.)

Thanks for liking my art style! I'll do better in the next updates!

Yes, I hope to express the different personalities of each character with different ways of speaking... Unfortunately they got lost in translation, and I'm very sorry about that!

Yes, the Chinese line was a bug, I was infected with COVID and had a fever that burned to 104 degrees Fahrenheit. I did translations in both languages during that time, working more than 10 hours a day. Some of the languages in between were inadvertently wrong, sorry sorry!

Animation loop... It's a programming problem, I haven't been able to find a way to play it only once and be able to write dialogues, I'll keep learning the renpy engine.

I will also pay attention to the narrator issue in subsequent versions, "The icon-face thing"... Sorry, I'm not having a hard time understanding this phrase, could you please explain it for me?
Answer to "The issue with professionalism".

The main idea I had for 0.1 was to introduce the characters as well as the worldview and background. Because in my outline, the background and worldview are a bit large, so I can't arrange them well in the plot... If I didn't explain the worldview as well as the background, I think it would be more difficult for players to understand the plot.

Of course, the police part of the arrangement is mainly to express the corruption of the government and the incompetence of the police, I also think the whole story of the bank incident are too cumbersome, maybe I will reset 0.1 in future versions, but not now (now I will still focus more on the development of the plot with the present).

The wings are actually one of Nikita's abilities, you see, and that's the consequence of my lack of background narration, which is my problem, and I think I'll continue to explain the setting further in the future.
Answer to "The issue with too long dialogues"

I think you're right, but I think there are some cultural differences at play as well. East Asian cultures sometimes like to say "crap", and I actually add a lot of Chinese jokes to that "crap", but they are very difficult to understand when translated. So I will try to eliminate this cultural difference in future versions, thank you for your suggestion and for understanding it!

"What's up with all cyberpunk action games having bump-meet-cutie scenes? I haven't revisited the genre since 1998, did I miss the birth of a new canon in the meantime?"--What does this phrase mean?

"My name is Erika"
"Same thing as the theme song of the 1940 Tour de France armoured car race?"
What the...?!
--"Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein"
XD

Thank you again for all your suggestions for my game, love you!
 

claus001

Active Member
Feb 15, 2020
684
1,426
I am very sorry to bring you a bad experience, and thank you for your good comments on the art, I will optimize the text problem in future versions, to bring players a good playing experience is my primary goal.
As the game is made by me alone, I have no experience in developing similar games before this, of course, this is not an excuse for me to shirk my responsibility.
Once again, I apologize for the bad gaming experience.
You know copying work of others is generally not accepted, but copying the code is. I noticed you are fan of Caribdis as well, you can check eternum's code to workaround the problems you are struggling with. Also it helps immensely to play other games, see what they did well, and implement that in your game. Nothing wrong of copying what others did well.
 
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The Rogue Trader

Active Member
Sep 12, 2021
510
755
The opening speech of Nikita... More of an expression of my personal enthusiasm, I'd love to see people willing to tour my work, if you think this is too wordy, I'll optimize this content in the next version (of course, I personally think the rendering style of that paragraph I also like, so I wrote some more dialogue, LOL.)

Ha, I can definitely relate to that. Falling in love with your creation so you want to have more of it.
Maybe our (and everyone's) favourite elf has that hot spring in the garden of her villa and you can add similar scenes to the main game (because you WILL put a romance route with her in the game).


Yes, I hope to express the different personalities of each character with different ways of speaking... Unfortunately they got lost in translation, and I'm very sorry about that!

Yes, it's unfortunate, but I know very well that's so difficult to keep a specific style you write in a foreign language. I hope your translator will help you find a "voice" for your characters in English like they have in Chinese.
My trick is to read a lot of novels in English by a particular author (in the last few years it's been Raymond Chandler) so that I can imitate his way of writing, but the problems of making differnet characters sound different is still there.


Yes, the Chinese line was a bug, I was infected with COVID and had a fever that burned to 104 degrees Fahrenheit. I did translations in both languages during that time, working more than 10 hours a day. Some of the languages in between were inadvertently wrong, sorry sorry!

I know that this is probably a cultural thing, but repeating that often that you're sorry is not necessary in the so-called "western" world. In fact, sometimes is a bit discomforting for your interlocutor. You can very well say things like "Ah, OK, I'll take care of it" and we'll be equally happy :)
This said, I'm sorry to hear about your health problems. 104 degrees sounds like a lot. Don't worry about the small things. As one character of one of my favourite novels said "If I never made any mistake I would be God, and if I were God I wouldn't be here wasting my time with you!".


"The icon-face thing"... Sorry, I'm not having a hard time understanding this phrase, could you please explain it for me?

After meeting Erika, I can't remember on which route, a giant white square animated meme-face replaces Nolan's head for a while. I don't think you can really miss it.


The main idea I had for 0.1 was to introduce the characters as well as the worldview and background. Because in my outline, the background and worldview are a bit large, so I can't arrange them well in the plot... If I didn't explain the worldview as well as the background, I think it would be more difficult for players to understand the plot. Of course, the police part of the arrangement is mainly to express the corruption of the government and the incompetence of the police,

Again, I understand your problem. It's not an easy one to solve. But I think that characters can complain about what is out of their control while trying to do their job at their best.
Ling is a good example of how to do it right: she assesses the situation quickly and competently, then she makes a series of stupid decisions due to her hot-blood (her own fatal flaw) and political pressuring (the whole police's fatal flaw).

I also think the whole story of the bank incident are too cumbersome, maybe I will reset 0.1 in future versions, but not now (now I will still focus more on the development of the plot with the present).

I completely agree with you that you should focus more on painting the whole picture before going back and retouching the early game!


The wings are actually one of Nikita's abilities, you see, and that's the consequence of my lack of background narration, which is my problem, and I think I'll continue to explain the setting further in the future.

OK, I believe that one was really hard to understand. It would have been for the best to add a brief mention, just to hint that there's more to it and that it will be explained later.
Similarly, I saw others complain that you never explain Nolan's superpower. I understood that it should be some form of enhanced combat ability (super resilience, super agility, etc.), but later he says something about a "debuff", which we don't see at all.


I think you're right, but I think there are some cultural differences at play as well. East Asian cultures sometimes like to say "crap"

Oh, westerners also talk over and over about nothing at all. Watch a Robert Altman movie if you don't believe me :D
But there's time for sitting in front of a cup of tea and digging deep into each other's soul and a time for letting the actions do the talking, and I know for a fact that East Asians do the latter very well ;)


and I actually add a lot of Chinese jokes to that "crap", but they are very difficult to understand when translated.

To be honest, several times I had the distinct feeling that there must be a joke in a dialogue, but I couldn't find it. Maybe all it needed was a bit more cultural bridging.
Or...
"My name is Erika"
"Same thing as the theme song of the 1940 Tour de France armoured car race?"
What the...?!
--"Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein"
... or maybe your and mine sense of humour just differ too much... (To explain that: I'm a WWII history buff, so I was supposed to get at least that joke. In my defence, I know absolutely nothing about songs of any period, so I couldn't know that "Erika" was a Wehrmacht marching song.)


"What's up with all cyberpunk action games having bump-meet-cutie scenes? I haven't revisited the genre since 1998, did I miss the birth of a new canon in the meantime?"
What does this phrase mean?


Give a look at this other cyberpunk game: in the last part, its protagonist meets a pretty girl by bumping into her in a street at night. I found it very strange that both of the two cyberpunk games that I tried lately had a very similar scene. So I was wondering if you two were making a citation of some show, or movie, or game, that used this ancient anime plot-device.
And when Nolan says something to Erika about her having to sleep at his apartment, I was thinking "it's exactly the same scene at the other game":oops:.
 
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Jas0nTon

Creators of "Mayfly"
Game Developer
Jul 2, 2022
112
386
The opening speech of Nikita... More of an expression of my personal enthusiasm, I'd love to see people willing to tour my work, if you think this is too wordy, I'll optimize this content in the next version (of course, I personally think the rendering style of that paragraph I also like, so I wrote some more dialogue, LOL.)

Ha, I can definitely relate to that. Falling in love with your creation so you want to have more of it.
Maybe our (and everyone's) favourite elf has that hot spring in the garden of her villa and you can add similar scenes to the main game (because you WILL put a romance route with her in the game).


Yes, I hope to express the different personalities of each character with different ways of speaking... Unfortunately they got lost in translation, and I'm very sorry about that!

Yes, it's unfortunate, but I know very well that's so difficult to keep a specific style you write in a foreign language. I hope your translator will help you find a "voice" for your characters in English like they have in Chinese.
My trick is to read a lot of novels in English by a particular author (in the last few years it's been Raymond Chandler) so that I can imitate his way of writing, but the problems of making differnet characters sound different is still there.


Yes, the Chinese line was a bug, I was infected with COVID and had a fever that burned to 104 degrees Fahrenheit. I did translations in both languages during that time, working more than 10 hours a day. Some of the languages in between were inadvertently wrong, sorry sorry!

I know that this is probably a cultural thing, but repeating that often that you're sorry is not necessary in the so-called "western" world. In fact, sometimes is a bit discomforting for your interlocutor. You can very well say things like "Ah, OK, I'll take care of it" and we'll be equally happy :)
This said, I'm sorry to hear about your health problems. 104 degrees sounds like a lot. Don't worry about the small things. As one character of one of my favourite novels said "If I never made any mistake I would be God, and if I were God I wouldn't be here wasting my time with you!".


"The icon-face thing"... Sorry, I'm not having a hard time understanding this phrase, could you please explain it for me?

After meeting Erika, I can't remember on which route, a giant white square animated meme-face replaces Nolan's head for a while. I don't think you can really miss it.


The main idea I had for 0.1 was to introduce the characters as well as the worldview and background. Because in my outline, the background and worldview are a bit large, so I can't arrange them well in the plot... If I didn't explain the worldview as well as the background, I think it would be more difficult for players to understand the plot. Of course, the police part of the arrangement is mainly to express the corruption of the government and the incompetence of the police,

Again, I understand your problem. It's not an easy one to solve. But I think that characters can complain about what is out of their control while trying to do their job at their best.
Ling is a good example of how to do it right: she assesses the situation quickly and competently, then she makes a series of stupid decisions due to her hot-blood (her own fatal flaw) and political pressuring (the whole police's fatal flaw).

I also think the whole story of the bank incident are too cumbersome, maybe I will reset 0.1 in future versions, but not now (now I will still focus more on the development of the plot with the present).

I completely agree with you that you should focus more on painting the whole picture before going back and retouching the early game!


The wings are actually one of Nikita's abilities, you see, and that's the consequence of my lack of background narration, which is my problem, and I think I'll continue to explain the setting further in the future.

OK, I believe that one was really hard to understand. It would have been for the best to add a brief mention, just to hint that there's more to it and that it will be explained later.
Similarly, I saw others complain that you never explain Nolan's superpower. I understood that it should be some form of enhanced combat ability (super resilience, super agility, etc.), but later he says something about a "debuff", which we don't see at all.


I think you're right, but I think there are some cultural differences at play as well. East Asian cultures sometimes like to say "crap"

Oh, westerners also talk over and over about nothing at all. Watch a Robert Altman movie if you don't believe me :D
But there's time for sitting in front of a cup of tea and digging deep into each other's soul and a time for letting the actions do the talking, and I know for a fact that East Asians do the latter very well ;)


and I actually add a lot of Chinese jokes to that "crap", but they are very difficult to understand when translated.

To be honest, several times I had the distinct feeling that there must be a joke in a dialogue, but I couldn't find it. Maybe all it needed was a bit more cultural bridging.
Or...

... or maybe your and mine sense of humour just differ too much... (To explain that: I'm a WWII history buff, so I was supposed to get at least that joke. In my defence, I know absolutely nothing about songs of any period, so I couldn't know that "Erika" was a Wehrmacht marching song.)


"What's up with all cyberpunk action games having bump-meet-cutie scenes? I haven't revisited the genre since 1998, did I miss the birth of a new canon in the meantime?"
What does this phrase mean?


Give a look at this other cyberpunk game: in the last part, its protagonist meets a pretty girl by bumping into her in a street at night. I found it very strange that both of the two cyberpunk games that I tried lately had a very similar scene. So I was wondering if you two were making a citation of some show, or movie, or game, that used this ancient anime plot-device.
And when Nolan says something to Erika about her having to sleep at his apartment, I was thinking "it's exactly the same scene at the other game":哎呀:.
I understand all of what you said. I will pay attention to it in future versions~
Cyberpunk game style, I guarantee that if there are similarities, it is purely coincidental.
In fact, the Cyberpunk game I played recently is "Cyberpunk 2077", and "MayFly" also borrowed a lot from the settings of this gameXD
It doesn't matter. As the mc said, it's just a cold joke (I hope it won't offend French players) LOL
Okay, now I'm going to say that--"Ah, OK, I'll take care of it"

Thank you for all your suggestions!
 
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Jas0nTon

Creators of "Mayfly"
Game Developer
Jul 2, 2022
112
386
You know copying work of others is generally not accepted, but copying the code is. I noticed you are fan of Caribdis as well, you can check eternum's code to workaround the problems you are struggling with. Also it helps immensely to play other games, see what they did well, and implement that in your game. Nothing wrong of copying what others did well.
Want to hear something funny?

I've already done this, XD

I have no experience in writing code. In my early learning of renpy, I used video tutorial+Eternam source code to learn renpy
of course! I did not copy and paste directly.
 
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7empest5teele

Well-Known Member
Dec 23, 2019
1,177
822
THAT was painful to try and decipher most of this dialog.
I think Google translate might help or enlist the help of someone who has a good grasp of the English language since this will be VERY irritating to some.

Edit: I just skipped most of the dialog, the renders are good, and I will replay this from the beginning, once you post an ad on here for someone to donate their time to proofread this, until then, wow I don't need the headache.
 
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BF109

New Member
Sep 17, 2022
1
2
greatly promising game I enjoy it a lot :D
models and story are quite excellent
cant wait for the next update
-----
“寄蜉蝣于天地,渺沧海之一粟。哀吾生之须臾,羡长江之无穷。挟飞仙以遨游,抱明月而长终。知不可乎骤得,托遗响于悲风。”
 
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Jas0nTon

Creators of "Mayfly"
Game Developer
Jul 2, 2022
112
386
THAT was painful to try and decipher most of this dialog.
I think Google translate might help or enlist the help of someone who has a good grasp of the English language since this will be VERY irritating to some.

Edit: I just skipped most of the dialog, the renders are good, and I will replay this from the beginning, once you post an ad on here for someone to donate their time to proofread this, until then, wow I don't need the headache.
As you wish, the official English proofreading will be available in the next version.
Please look forward to him!
 
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Kargan3033

Member
Jan 2, 2020
439
358
Well I have finished this release and I have to say it's not a bad game, the art/renders are top notch, the *english* in this games needs some work and there are a few instances of chinese text appearing in place of english text but as far as a first release goes this is right on the money and give it a nine out of ten.

I'll be following this game as best as I can given the way my life is going now, well done and looking forward to seeing and playing more of this fine game.

Also your discord link is not working right, your discord group/server does not link up to my discord.
 
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Jas0nTon

Creators of "Mayfly"
Game Developer
Jul 2, 2022
112
386
Well I have finished this release and I have to say it's not a bad game, the art/renders are top notch, the *english* in this games needs some work and there are a few instances of chinese text appearing in place of english text but as far as a first release goes this is right on the money and give it a nine out of ten.

I'll be following this game as best as I can given the way my life is going now, well done and looking forward to seeing and playing more of this fine game.

Also your discord link is not working right, your discord group/server does not link up to my discord.
Thank you for letting me know.
Here's the new invite link, you're welcome to join!

 

Jas0nTon

Creators of "Mayfly"
Game Developer
Jul 2, 2022
112
386
对话源代码就是中文,不需要什么翻译。这应该是个国内作者,反正大家就好好珍惜。作者加油!
I come from the moon.
Please don't advertise on the Chinese website that this game was made by a country author.
I will consider removing Chinese from version 0.3 or later if there is too much publicity about my nationality in China.
 
3.90 star(s) 24 Votes