VN Ren'Py Abandoned Project SAGE [Act 1 v0.19d] [Paperwork]

4.60 star(s) 60 Votes
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paperwork

paperwork

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Game Developer
Mar 3, 2018
289
1,361
dronenaught said:
This is one bit of feedback i'll give you, and it's really minor as this is the only time it's crept up, and even then in such a small way: do try to make sure your routes feel organic and have the options given to the character lead to somewhat expected outcomes/routes. As right now the blowjob scene and how her relationship with principle develops doesn't really feel that way. Unless you want to just have some hidden extras for people to find, which is great, it's probably best for the structure of the game not to make that route specific content. It's never fun to feel like you require a walkthrough to take the route/character development/plot you want and find out your decisions take you on a route you didn't expect due to some poorly telegraphed options prior.

If it feels like i'm being a bit pedantic, I apologize, I just see a great deal of potential in your game, and you as a developer.
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Thank you for your concern @dronenaught , I realy appreciate it and I know you care for the game. But, you don't have to worry :)

That branch is an actual route like the other 4 in that event. The player choices in this game will not be "extra"s. In that scene, the MC choses to walk out and then becomes agitated about her action's concequences and goes back because she's afraid and impatient. Miyagi wants more from her because she has humiliated him in a moment of anger. MC suffers for her actions. I know that route will not be a very common one. And it's a little bit "hidden" because...people prefer more direct choices in general. And to be clear, that is not a "slut" route.

There are 5 different routes in that event and writing for all of them for all school events is not feasable. Some routes will merge in the upcoming release. I don't want her to give him blowjobs everyday after all :) So, she will carry on with the knowledge that she could have done better in that first meeting.

In this game, hidden scenes will depend on other things like horniness, openness, awareness etc. Like the one I did with Mr. Wilson before. They will not depend on your choices (there can be exceptions, but they will be very very rare).

I don't want to make a walkthrough. But, there are completionists among us and they will need one :)
 
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kingscard

Member
Mar 31, 2017
143
100
Hey, I really liked it, Congratulations to you Paperwork ! There's a fairly amount of romance that can't be found elsewere like between the two brothers and the MC.

There are some things that bothers me, like she already watched porn before but doesn't know a thing about cum or blowjobs ... and yet she wanted to test anal the minute after she saw it. But it's a game, can't be perfect, otherwise it would be life and that would suck :).

I'm looking forward to your next release :).
 
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LunaticF

Newbie
Jul 21, 2017
58
73
Anyone knows what to to expect in the next update? Wish time would go faster so I can play the next update :p
 
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fzdudesome

Member
Mar 9, 2018
431
319
Just gave it a shot because someone said there was something in the way of darker content here, but the writing is irreconcilably bad. I just can't do it. Also wasn't expecting it to be so heavily incest themed, regardless of the whole "I barely knew them in childhood" thing, I really wanted to be able to get the hell away from the family, but they seem to be everywhere.
 
paperwork

paperwork

Member
Game Developer
Mar 3, 2018
289
1,361
LunaticF said:
Anyone knows what to to expect in the next update? Wish time would go faster so I can play the next update :p
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It will be at the end of this month, or within the first days of the next. I'm still writing the scenes. There is a lot to do for this update on my side :)

fzdudesome said:
Just gave it a shot because someone said there was something in the way of darker content here, but the writing is irreconcilably bad. I just can't do it. Also wasn't expecting it to be so heavily incest themed, regardless of the whole "I barely knew them in childhood" thing, I really wanted to be able to get the hell away from the family, but they seem to be everywhere.
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I'm sorry that you didn't like the game. In the end, it's about taste and tolerances. I just want to correct one thing: there is no incest in this game. I'm writing this because I don't want people to ask about it after they read your post.
 
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fzdudesome

Member
Mar 9, 2018
431
319
It just needs SERIOUS proof reading before anything else. For example, never use the number symbol in speech, write out the word. I think I saw 2 instead of two or too a couple of times. Beyond that the dialogue felt very clunky. Is English a second language of yours? If so, consider asking a native speaker to proof it for you. As for the incest comment, I know they aren't actually brothers, but that is 100% the vibe they gave off to me. I guess that is subjective though, and won't be the same for everyone.
 
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kingscard

Member
Mar 31, 2017
143
100
To be honest, my first go was fast forward to see the content. Then, as I liked it, I tried to understand what I saw by reading a second go. And finally I read the changelog/walkthrough and played it while reading almost everything.

So, ok, it's not perfect (but I'm not a native english speaker so I won't see every mistakes), but it's enjoyable as it is, and will be even better with proofreading.

I'd rather play a game with some english flaws, with a thoughtful story and an artistic work behind content than perfect but meaningless story and art.

So enjoy yourself Paperwork, you're good at what you do !

Just my opinion :).
 
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LunaticF

Newbie
Jul 21, 2017
58
73
kingscard said:
To be honest, my first go was fast forward to see the content. Then, as I liked it, I tried to understand what I saw by reading a second go. And finally I read the changelog/walkthrough and played it while reading almost everything.

So, ok, it's not perfect (but I'm not a native english speaker so I won't see every mistakes), but it's enjoyable as it is, and will be even better with proofreading.

I'd rather play a game with some english flaws, with a thoughtful story and an artistic work behind content than perfect but meaningless story and art.

So enjoy yourself Paperwork, you're good at what you do !

Just my opinion :).
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I agree with @kingscard. @paperwork is one of the few developers in here that delivers constantly with reasonable amount of content each month with a good storyline.

Keep up the good work @paperwork
 
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4.60 star(s) 60 Votes