Others Abandoned Record of Asturion War [v0.23] [Tjord]

[A Common Crab]

I mean having played all of part one and some of part two I must say that the story twist did sap most of my motivation to play. I have just been half heartedly chipping away at it now. It is undeniable that the part one story was not a particularly original one but it did provide a fairly consistent effort at worldbuilding and making us care about the characters and there goals.

The fact that moving on to part two we not only play someone else with goals entirely in opposition to our prior protagonists but then set about undoing everything we have achieved is a bit of a gut punch. Our new protagonist being 'evil' is something that I do not particularly object to but what I do object to is how as a villain he is completely uncharismatic and basically fits every stereotype of the "fat, ugly guy can't get women so uses mind control" trope. Villains as protagonists always work best in my eyes when they inspire some desire for them to prosper in the viewer, in the case of the new protagonist I genuinely would not care if he died the chapter after he was introduced, his character archetype is over explored in power fantasy works and so is uninteresting and he is not likable or funny so I would not want him to do well for those reasons. This complete absence of redeeming qualities means I find having to listen to the protagonist talk for extended times to be tiresome which is never a good sign for a work of fiction.

So in the absence of the above reasons the main reason to proceed to part two would of course be the porn. The porn in the game is decent but uninspired but is dragged down heavily by the scenes focusing on characters who have undergone the 'corruption' scenes. These 'corruption' scenes are pretty cookie cutter and uninspired; character starts out resistant, gets drugged into suggestibility, get subjected to a bunch of leading questions and child level psycho-analysis to get them to change there core principles and beliefs (and at one point even re-writing a characters sexuality) and then they pop out fully devoted slaves. This incredibly simplistic version of corruption saps any and all joy from the process as it is more akin the character murder than corruption as there is barely any sign of the original personality at all as they all just become generic devoted slaves. The physical changes corruption brings while making sense on a story level as our protagonist obviously has a type does risk alienating chunks of the audience as you actively remove variety from the cast by making the physical features more similar. If you want to see examples of corruption done well I would recommend looking at Corrupted Saviours as that game demonstrates how to make the downfall of a character satisfying to witness as there personalities warp and change in believable manners as a result of experiences they are subject to while still visibly being the same people they once were just warped and twisted. The sex scenes themselves in the game are okay but with the protagonist and the characters he fucks all being subject to the problems above it is difficult to enjoy them as much as I would have otherwise.

The strategy gameplay on the other hand is still up to standard and is very enjoyable but now I feel as though the story and supports are detracting from my enjoyment of it rather than complimenting it. It still represents a decent example of a fire emblem based game but I could only recommend the actual story in the first part.

In short the game is a good example of how porn games can have good gameplay but I feel it has completely botched the implementation of the porn part with a new unlikeable protagonist and weak and uninteresting corruption scenes all paired with being told after hours of gameplay to turn around and help tear down what you had been trying to build throughout the first part.

By the way, where can I find that game?

 

[Seamonkey]

A "Villain" I loved was Fontana from Sunrider, he is very similar to that prince who took Mercia but doesn't get killed in the first half of the game and ends up overthrowing the government once seeing how deep the corruption goes.

Yeah, going the whole anti-villain route is one way of making them likeable but it does damage the idea of them actually being evil which can be fine if you are going for a more idealistic setting where it is all a misunderstanding or a very light grey on grey morality setting. If as we are in this game, meant to be writing a far more selfish character we either need far more time spent being given reasons to want to root for him (understandable and compelling goals, likable personality, interesting caste of side characters, etc.) or they can make the protagonist so funny and charismatic that people will cheer them on even as they do pretty horrible things, a good example of this is Rance in his games he can do deeds that range from incredibly petty to downright villainous but the fact that his overblown character and overblown ego can make him both funny and likable enough that people want him to succeed regardless. It is the fact that our new protagonist is lacking in either well established reasons for us to care for his success while lacking in any interesting character traits is the reason why he is so uncompelling.

This is notable when the writing of the first part with all its alliance building and political intriguing was well done, hell even the writing of the twist itself was decent, it just feels like once we hit the second part the quality of the writing remains more less the same but the ideas behind it are worse. this is a shame as the actual gameplay in the second part still seems good, it is just the story drags it down.

 

[Seamonkey]

By the way, where can I find that game?

On this site

You must be registered to see the links

Forewarning corrupted saviours does not have graphics at all so it is carried solely by its writing. But I will say it is one of the highest quality corruption games I have ever played and its Dev has shown consistent sound judgement regarding game design and development decisions as well as being active with replying on both this site and their blog. In regards to how to do slow burn and gradual corruption while integrating it with the gameplay loop I would say it is an exemplar of the idea.

 

[New Kid]

Heh it seems I am not alone in my dislike of the MC of part 2, at some point I realized that I was practically forcing myself to play the game as the shift in the story nearly killed all my interest (along with the losing all progress from those lenghty chapters in part 1). Some of the corruption scenes are incredibly dumb, like the one with the widow of his brother, he basically just says "you were totally checking me out during your wedding" then she says "was not" and him "you were", then she just submits... and the guy's motivation is mostly just hedonistic pleasure, hard to even get into the "evil overlord" vibe. Also, when he said that the one he hated the most was the only brother that actually gave a shit about him just shows how petty and childish he is, and lot of his plan relied largely on him getting lucky on the initial captures, a single hiccup and poof, game over. I still hope that there will be yet another twist involving something like Jetho betraying him at some point because of ancient elven stuff or at least multiple endings like in the langrisser series, but I guess I will wait until the game is completed before deciding on picking up again or not.

 

[A Common Crab]

Heh it seems I am not alone in my dislike of the MC of part 2, at some point I realized that I was practically forcing myself to play the game as the shift in the story nearly killed all my interest (along with the losing all progress from those lenghty chapters in part 1). Some of the corruption scenes are incredibly dumb, like the one with the widow of his brother, he basically just says "you were totally checking me out during your wedding" then she says "was not" and him "you were", then she just submits... and the guy's motivation is mostly just hedonistic pleasure, hard to even get into the "evil overlord" vibe. Also, when he said that the one he hated the most was the only brother that actually gave a shit about him just shows how petty and childish he is, and lot of his plan relied largely on him getting lucky on the initial captures, a single hiccup and poof, game over. I still hope that there will be yet another twist involving something like Jetho betraying him at some point because of ancient elven stuff or at least multiple endings like in the langrisser series, but I guess I will wait until the game is completed before deciding on picking up again or not.

I'd be fucking happy if we could get to play with that kind prince, imagine switching perspectives and having both sides winning and losing while fighting for Mercia and their ideals. Think about that.
But noo, we get generic fatso 101.

 

[bom44]

I mean having played all of part one and some of part two I must say that the story twist did sap most of my motivation to play. I have just been half heartedly chipping away at it now. It is undeniable that the part one story was not a particularly original one but it did provide a fairly consistent effort at worldbuilding and making us care about the characters and there goals.

The fact that moving on to part two we not only play someone else with goals entirely in opposition to our prior protagonists but then set about undoing everything we have achieved is a bit of a gut punch. Our new protagonist being 'evil' is something that I do not particularly object to but what I do object to is how as a villain he is completely uncharismatic and basically fits every stereotype of the "fat, ugly guy can't get women so uses mind control" trope. Villains as protagonists always work best in my eyes when they inspire some desire for them to prosper in the viewer, in the case of the new protagonist I genuinely would not care if he died the chapter after he was introduced, his character archetype is over explored in power fantasy works and so is uninteresting and he is not likable or funny so I would not want him to do well for those reasons. This complete absence of redeeming qualities means I find having to listen to the protagonist talk for extended times to be tiresome which is never a good sign for a work of fiction.

So in the absence of the above reasons the main reason to proceed to part two would of course be the porn. The porn in the game is decent but uninspired but is dragged down heavily by the scenes focusing on characters who have undergone the 'corruption' scenes. These 'corruption' scenes are pretty cookie cutter and uninspired; character starts out resistant, gets drugged into suggestibility, get subjected to a bunch of leading questions and child level psycho-analysis to get them to change there core principles and beliefs (and at one point even re-writing a characters sexuality) and then they pop out fully devoted slaves. This incredibly simplistic version of corruption saps any and all joy from the process as it is more akin the character murder than corruption as there is barely any sign of the original personality at all as they all just become generic devoted slaves. The physical changes corruption brings while making sense on a story level as our protagonist obviously has a type does risk alienating chunks of the audience as you actively remove variety from the cast by making the physical features more similar. If you want to see examples of corruption done well I would recommend looking at Corrupted Saviours as that game demonstrates how to make the downfall of a character satisfying to witness as there personalities warp and change in believable manners as a result of experiences they are subject to while still visibly being the same people they once were just warped and twisted. The sex scenes themselves in the game are okay but with the protagonist and the characters he fucks all being subject to the problems above it is difficult to enjoy them as much as I would have otherwise.

The strategy gameplay on the other hand is still up to standard and is very enjoyable but now I feel as though the story and supports are detracting from my enjoyment of it rather than complimenting it. It still represents a decent example of a fire emblem based game but I could only recommend the actual story in the first part.

In short the game is a good example of how porn games can have good gameplay but I feel it has completely botched the implementation of the porn part with a new unlikeable protagonist and weak and uninteresting corruption scenes all paired with being told after hours of gameplay to turn around and help tear down what you had been trying to build throughout the first part.

yes i agree with this, this is also what make me stop play after first part

 

[bom44]

I'd be fucking happy if we could get to play with that kind prince, imagine switching perspectives and having both sides winning and losing while fighting for Mercia and their ideals. Think about that.
But noo, we get generic fatso 101.

even if the protagonist change to handsome one, but without proper story build for him in first part, i will still meh, not worth playing him

 

[D3xter_]

I'd be fucking happy if we could get to play with that kind prince, imagine switching perspectives and having both sides winning and losing while fighting for Mercia and their ideals. Think about that.
But noo, we get generic fatso 101.

I see no reason to change the protagonist again, but to remake him. I have not finished the second part yet, but if, for example, the manner of conversation, appearance, character were just a deception, so as not to attract attention to himself, when in fact he is someone else, and not how he was shown to us, then I had to follow the story would be more interesting.

 

[Mister XxX]

Heh it seems I am not alone in my dislike of the MC of part 2, at some point I realized that I was practically forcing myself to play the game as the shift in the story nearly killed all my interest (along with the losing all progress from those lenghty chapters in part 1). Some of the corruption scenes are incredibly dumb, like the one with the widow of his brother, he basically just says "you were totally checking me out during your wedding" then she says "was not" and him "you were", then she just submits... and the guy's motivation is mostly just hedonistic pleasure, hard to even get into the "evil overlord" vibe. Also, when he said that the one he hated the most was the only brother that actually gave a shit about him just shows how petty and childish he is, and lot of his plan relied largely on him getting lucky on the initial captures, a single hiccup and poof, game over. I still hope that there will be yet another twist involving something like Jetho betraying him at some point because of ancient elven stuff or at least multiple endings like in the langrisser series, but I guess I will wait until the game is completed before deciding on picking up again or not.

I can relate to that. Bosun is just our generic porn protagonist, but in a game with such world-building wrote by the darklord rise author it feels... out the place.

 

[cupzztax]

i just want to say, i very enjoy this game like the strategy, how story build the MC group and quite liked the story. i really really like the part 1, so when i start part 2 its just.... how to say it, its give me urge to stop play the game. why i must ruin the character that take a long process to build. its just you know, give me the wrong feeling. i dont curse the MC part 2, its good but at the same time feel wrong. If you play from chapter 1 to 33 without skipping or use normal stage, it really really hurt to see the character that i played for so long and make me thingking hard to just clear the stage, then just ruined in front my eyes with me playing another character. So i stop play when the part 1 is end, i really sorry but i cant handle it. its still fine if the MC part 1 get cursed or corrupted because the elf dark mirror so the MC turn to the darkness or something like that. And MC take slowly change the world tought corruption or something else. If the story like that i really want to play it. If you make another game with strategy or management game again i will try your game really.

Of course its your game so i cant make a change and i really appreciate your hardwork from making this game. And sorry again i cant play the part 2 after play the part 1, i realy sorry.

I know we came to this site to search porn but its really give me wrong feeling

i wish you make another game in the future, and please dont stop make another just because my comment

THANK YOU VERY MUCH (sorry if my english is bad)

 

[God Of Conquest]

It's great that I get too see diff people's opinions on this, some like it all of it and some don't, some like part 1 but not part 2, some like part 2 but felt like a "punch in the gut" for the EXP and items they got in part 1. and some like me, who likes both parts and can't wait for more.

but we must not forget that according to dev. this is but a "side-project" of his main game and we should expect and react based on that fact. (to past the time while we wait for the main dish, "Dark Lord 3") we shouldn't afford to play judge too much in a game that was made as a "side line" or w/ a pre-prepared plot (until its finished and dev. begins making or finishing "Dark Lord 3" at least), I mean he already told us what chapters this game is gonna take.

Honestly, I don't see a definite reason to change the story of the game as of now. Aside from the game bugs. As a fan, I like ROAW as it is. After all, it's a "stand-alone" and it should be left alone as that (maybe in the future but not now), adding some new elements to spice things up should be fine but the whole game or it's context should be left untouched if possible.

I rather choose a complete work of art with simple markings that a incomplete masterpiece due to being altered too much (I'm sure at least everybody will agree on this, nothing is more frustrating than a incomplete game). This happened in the plots (not the game, but it's story) for TDLR and/or Divinion that diverted what Dev. originally planned for his games in the first place, something he wishes to avoid this time (he said this in one of his blogs, which his gonna fix in "Dark Lord 3" according to him).

 

[Slaanesh Champion]

It's great that I get too see diff people's opinions on this, some like it all of it and some don't, some like part 1 but not part 2, some like part 2 but felt like a "punch in the gut" for the EXP and items they got in part 1. and some like me, who likes both parts and can't wait for more.

but we must not forget that according to dev. this is but a "side-project" of his main game and we should expect and react based on that fact. (to past the time while we wait for the main dish, "Dark Lord 3") we shouldn't afford to play judge too much in a game that was made as a "side line" or w/ a pre-prepared plot (until its finished and dev. begins making or finishing "Dark Lord 3" at least), I mean he already told us what chapters this game is gonna take.

Honestly, I don't see a definite reason to change the story of the game as of now. Aside from the game bugs. As a fan, I like ROAW as it is. After all, it's a "stand-alone" and it should be left alone as that (maybe in the future but not now), adding some new elements to spice things up should be fine but the whole game or it's context should be left untouched if possible.

I rather choose a complete work of art with simple markings that a incomplete masterpiece due to being altered too much (I'm sure at least everybody will agree on this, nothing is more frustrating than a incomplete game). This happened in the plots for TDLR and/or Divinion that diverted what Dev. originally planned for his games in the first place, something he wishes to avoid this time (he said this in one of his blogs, which his gonna fix in "Dark Lord 3" according to him).

Second part is still a piece of trash.

 

[God Of Conquest]

Second part is still a piece of trash.

As I said before, "to each their own"...

I Like both...

 

[Tjord]

Second part is still a piece of trash.

That... actually hurts.

I modelled this plot device (MC switch) after my favourite corruption game, that is TS Mahou Shoujo Nao. But I guess it isn't to everyone's taste.

 

[D3xter_]

That... actually hurts.

I modelled this plot device (MC switch) after my favourite corruption game, that is TS Mahou Shoujo Nao. But I guess it isn't to everyone's taste.

In the course of the game, you become attached to the hero and characters and an unexpected change of the protagondist to another who did not evoke any sympathy and, moreover, is the opponent of the first hero can cause certain emotions.
Frankly speaking, I also had thoughts of quitting the game when I found out about this, but I just decided not to delve too much into the story in the prologue (chapter 1), so as not to get attached to the characters strongly in chapter 1 and start chapter 2 hoping for the evolution of the second hero, since when the hero does not evoke sympathy (villains can also evoke sympathy), the story does not arouse much interest in me.
I liked part 1 of the story about Renan, in the near future I will start the second part, and therefore I wait and hope Bosun will somehow change in parts 2 and 3, unlike what he was in part 1, although 70 chapters may be a little small. However, no one bothers you to make the second strategic game if you wish.
In any case, you will not please everyone, everyone has their own opinion, do as you think will be best.

 

[Mister XxX]

That... actually hurts.

I modelled this plot device (MC switch) after my favourite corruption game, that is TS Mahou Shoujo Nao. But I guess it isn't to everyone's taste.

Personally I wouldn't call it trash. Just an error (personnal) and i still think the game is good (writing, character, gameplay and world depht), just the change is just too brutal for me.

Bosun should had at least some human qualities, like wanting to avenge the only one who manifest him sympathy (Loki Ymir from Venus blood frontier) or strong relationship with some people (his mage is just a surbodinate and his view on women make it impossible for females friends).

Or less developpment for the rest of the world. As I spent hours in making Marek succed (Mahou Shoujo being a VN, here Marek success are ours), I feel really disappointed to make Bosun take it because I feel he doesn't really deserve it.

 

[Slaanesh Champion]

That... actually hurts.

I modelled this plot device (MC switch) after my favourite corruption game, that is TS Mahou Shoujo Nao. But I guess it isn't to everyone's taste.

The MC switch thingy is ok. It's just the MC of second part is garbage, that no one likes, which negatively affects the perception of the second part as a whole.
The Bosun has no traits that players could sympathize with him for, he's just a pathetic bastard that everyone hates.

 

[Slaanesh Champion]

Make Bosun a chad with redeeming qualities and strong beliefs, albeit with twisted morality so he still remains a villain.
Make him like all other great villains that everyone loves more than heroes. That will make everyone
change their opinion on chapter 2 or even make them love it more than the first chapter.

 

[Seamonkey]

That... actually hurts.

I modelled this plot device (MC switch) after my favourite corruption game, that is TS Mahou Shoujo Nao. But I guess it isn't to everyone's taste.

Hi Tjord,

Just wanted to emphasise that for all the criticism I have put forth on your game that I still intensely enjoyed the experience of navigating through the first part and I also appreciate the time you set aside to provide me with guidance when I had questions about the game.

I feel that you were always taking a risky path with the twist and such things always have a chance of alienating portions of your audience. I confess that I am not familiar with TS Mahou Shoujo Nao so I cannot give much insight as to why the same twist there is enjoyed by you but not by some of us here. Given your game and it seem to have a fair few differences any change in the format may have been what caused people to react differently. It could also have just been that the audience drew in by the gameplay and story of the first part simply aren't all the kind of people to enjoy the type of story the second part is.

I understand that it undermines the point of the twist in the transition to the second part but you may want to add more emphasis to what type of content is in the game in the upfront advertising of it, as if people know what type of content the twist entails then you will get less people reacting negatively to it. If nothing else I would try to get some mention of the protagonist switch even if you leave the audience without context as to how and why it occurs so that people know we aren't meant to be getting too attached to the cast of part one.

While it is likely that I will only continue with the game on and off now, I do still wish you the best with its development as it is still good to see people developing porn games with an emphasis on gameplay even if the writing and characterisation in the second part wasn't to my taste.

 

[DBAV]

You had all the pieces to make Bosun an interesting character, make him a lusty chubby genius, rather than being the mastermind behind every evil in the world how about him being interested in dark magic, ignoring the succession fight and concentrating in his research then he losses all his family during the war has to take the throne and rebuild the empire because the king (not part 1 MC to other one) is hellbent on revenge and is going to conquer the empire, since the reform is hard he has to use the fruits of his research in a dirty way (satisfying his lust along the way) etc etc...