Others Abandoned Record of Asturion War [v0.23] [Tjord]

[RedAnt]

Sorry i couldnt get the last corruption scene, i dont even know if its unlockable.

I think it's unlockable in theory, but due to a bug you can't

Spoiler: How you should be able to unlock it according to the author blog

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I dont know if its possible in SRPG engine but i think some dialogue options scattered between chapters and counting "good" and "bad" points from choices influencing the ending would do this game some good, and i dont think they would even require that much work. For example if you pick worst options you get locked to only ending B or C and if you had more "good" options ending A unlocks or something like that. Not even separate endings but flavors like "And thus the protagonist brought his version of justice to the continent"/"And so the reign of terror of protagonist was unleashed on the continent".

Not sure about if giving more option is a good idea, their cost quickly add up. If anything, I would reduce the number of route by making the capture of most heroines mandatory, for 2 reason

• Corrupting the heroines is the main appeal of the game (and thus any branch in which you didn't capture an heroine will be avoided by almost everyone.
• If the capture of an heroine is optional, they can't be relevant for the rest of the story, which means most content will avoid them, they can't be important in any major event...

 

[test011]

Not sure about if giving more option is a good idea, their cost quickly add up. If anything, I would reduce the number of route by making the capture of most heroines mandatory, for 2 reason

• Corrupting the heroines is the main appeal of the game (and thus any branch in which you didn't capture an heroine will be avoided by almost everyone.
• If the capture of an heroine is optional, they can't be relevant for the rest of the story, which means most content will avoid them, they can't be important in any major event...

I get where you are coming from and i agree that streamlining the heroines capture could be a good design choice, it could also ease up development.
But the "options" i mean wouldnt be hard to implement since consequences of those options wouldn't effect the game in ways like having different missions or branching paths, more like:

"You captured a village, what to do? A: corrupt everybody, B: Commit a warcrime"
Or maybe some less extreme choice, something that reflects the morals of character but doesn't effect the game world at large, "You came upon a grave of ancient sorcerer what to do? A: Pay your last respects to long fallen mage B: Ignore it, the dead dont concern you" or something like "When visiting your troops field hospital you noticed a soldier complaining about his battle fatigue what to do? A: Slap him B: Empathize and motivate him" etc...

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The result of choice would be off screen. There wouldn't be any need to present the effect of such choice, a line of dialogue or two would be enough but it would effect your "ending score".

Something like in Fallout New Vegas where your karma affects the "flavor" of final ending slide, it doesnt change the ending, it just slightly alters it.

 

[Tjord]

Interesting discussion.

• Corrupting the heroines is the main appeal of the game (and thus any branch in which you didn't capture an heroine will be avoided by almost everyone.
• If the capture of an heroine is optional, they can't be relevant for the rest of the story, which means most content will avoid them, they can't be important in any major event...

Yeah, my experience agrees with those points. I considered allowing permadeath for characters in part 2, but came to realize it would mean MC could only have meaningful interactions witch select few unkillable girls; meh. Same problem would arise if I allowed some girls to become uncorrupted.

On the other hand, I'm probably too lazy to implement different endings. But we'll see.

Main reason I wanted to shake things up was not protagonist (though even to me Bosun feelt a bit too... uninvolved) but corruption scenes. Over time, they became kind of chore to write, and the process itself was a bit too unsatisfying, even though I love machine brainwashing. There are some parts I'll miss (Bosun-Theodia conspracy, the whole Imperial aesthetic on corrupted girls) though.

In other bad news, I've playtested new part 1 over the christmas and... didn't like it. More precisely, I didn't like new villain, so it's back to drawing board for me, at least when it comes to second MC. Fortunately, ideas for new characters is one thing I don't lack.

 

[test011]

There are some parts I'll miss (Bosun-Theodia conspracy, the whole Imperial aesthetic on corrupted girls) though.

In other bad news, I've playtested new part 1 over the christmas and... didn't like it. More precisely, I didn't like new villain, so it's back to drawing board for me, at least when it comes to second MC. Fortunately, ideas for new characters is one thing I don't lack.

I think that the 2nd part MC being an imperial fits perfectly from the gameplay and narrative design viewpoint. Doesn't even have to be a part of royal family. Partially-occupied, fractured Empire after lost war seems like a perfect environment for a protagonist to build his power level in a way that makes sense, power vacuums create the most opportunities after all.
Because it allows the 2nd MC to build his forces, seize the remnants of the imperial power all while not being hostile to the 1st part powers, maybe even supported at first. When in doubt real world history is always a good inspiration, take Russian civil war for example (of with I think plot partially took inspiration already correct me if im wrong).

Maybe after the Empire collapses revolutions and warlordism breaks out and our new protagonist is put in power as a "puppet" regime created by western powers, or maybe he gains power by himself bit by bit, or maybe he launches coup-d'etat in already powerful faction ala Napoleon irl. Possibilities are endless but I think that the opportunity of putting a new protagonist in the shoes of old enemy (although with a face-lift) is too good to miss out on.

 

[New Kid]

With VenusBlood series usually brunching plots, from my experience, player can even lead protagonists to some degree of redemption. I personally never found VenusBlood characters or plots being bad or boring, that's why I love this series.

Speaking of branching plots, I can only imagine how much better Record of Asturion War would be if plot could branch, but I understand what titanic effort it requires so I'm not gonna annoy author with it.

One of the things I love about the Langrisser series is that there are multiple endings in most of their games, Langrisser 2 alone had 4 endings with wildly different scenarios, but I can see how much of a pain in the ass it would be to implement something like that here. Dunno how the new protagonist of part 2 will be, but with a evil-looking witch hovering around him and the corruption focused setting I doubt he can deviate from the "corrupt everyone" mentality, and Marek is too much of a goody two-shoes to even consider going into a morally questionable path.

 

[RedAnt]

Main reason I wanted to shake things up was not protagonist (though even to me Bosun feelt a bit too... uninvolved) but corruption scenes. Over time, they became kind of chore to write, and the process itself was a bit too unsatisfying, even though I love machine brainwashing. There are some parts I'll miss (Bosun-Theodia conspracy, the whole Imperial aesthetic on corrupted girls) though.

If what you are after is more variety in the corruption process, a solution might be to make the machine more costly to Bosun. In the current scenario, he would be an idiot not to use it, but what if he also has to take a huge dose of the dangerous mineral for each corruption. In the first corruption, this could just give an headache, but doing more and more corruption would cause gradually more severe symptoms until he is forced to develop and use other way to corrupt people that can have any characteristic you wish.
You could also use the different biology of elves to justify the machine not working on them and him being forced to use more drastic mesure on them. For some special people he could combine those different ways even forcing him to use the machine to end the process despite the toll it has on him. This would prove his twisted dedication to his goal.

 

[test011]

If what you are after is more variety in the corruption process, a solution might be to make the machine more costly to Bosun.

Or diversify methods of corruption. Maybe keep the plot point about the the elven shards and that the corrupted girl must imagine herself differently or say something specific to finish the corruption but spice things up in ways this can be achieved.

Maybe most go trough the machine like now, maybe one picks up cursed grimoire, maybe one is tricked into drinking love potion, maybe another gives in willingly to save her friends without knowing what full extend of changes will be, maybe another was a spy that was supposed to infiltrate but underestimated the brainwashing capacity of some machine etc... Again possibilities are endless to shake things up. And if push comes to stove you can always look for inspiration in other corruption/mind control games/doujinshi.

Also a point about number of characters, there is a lot of them right now, it can be both a strength and a weakness. I know this might be unpopular but maybe shift corruption of some less important characters off-screen?

 

[Slaanesh Champion]

If what you are after is more variety in the corruption process, a solution might be to make the machine more costly to Bosun. In the current scenario, he would be an idiot not to use it, but what if he also has to take a huge dose of the dangerous mineral for each corruption. In the first corruption, this could just give an headache, but doing more and more corruption would cause gradually more severe symptoms until he is forced to develop and use other way to corrupt people that can have any characteristic you wish.
You could also use the different biology of elves to justify the machine not working on them and him being forced to use more drastic mesure on them. For some special people he could combine those different ways even forcing him to use the machine to end the process despite the toll it has on him. This would prove his twisted dedication to his goal.

Or diversify methods of corruption. Maybe keep the plot point about the the elven shards and that the corrupted girl must imagine herself differently or say something specific to finish the corruption but spice things up in ways this can be achieved.

Maybe most go trough the machine like now, maybe one picks up cursed grimoire, maybe one is tricked into drinking love potion, maybe another gives in willingly to save her friends without knowing what full extend of changes will be, maybe another was a spy that was supposed to infiltrate but underestimated the brainwashing capacity of some machine etc... Again possibilities are endless to shake things up. And if push comes to stove you can always look for inspiration in other corruption/mind control games/doujinshi.

Also a point about number of characters, there is a lot of them right now, it can be both a strength and a weakness. I know this might be unpopular but maybe shift corruption of some less important characters off-screen?

Hey, fuck Bosun, he's trash, author already told he's gonna change second protagonist.
IF author would suddenly cancel rework, it would be nice to get at least a game over scene of Bosun being gangraped by some gachimuchi squad of enemies. Yes, I hate Bosun SO much.

 

[God Of Conquest]

Or at least change his(2nd protag) name, personality and/or appearance maybe, or slight alter them? but keep most of his background? and as the others already said, no need to change everything. it's tiresome work for you Dev Tjord and not to mention time consuming. after all, all this started with;

* the corruption scenes feel like a chore to you (as you said) and less satisfying too most fans (not me, but hey...)
* the 2nd protag himself, being uninvolved and fatty, ugly etc. (I don't mind, but hey...)

if something can be done with these two main points. even slight modifications is fine, I feel everyone will be satisfied at the very least.

 

[Astolostrat]

Whats the word on progress?

 

[TheDeadOne891]

Shame, I actually liked Bosun, but since he's gonna be changed, I'll deal with it and enjoy the same the game none the less.

 

[Tjord]

Whats the word on progress?

Shame, I actually liked Bosun

Bosun is back! Although...



Isn't he cute now?

In other news, as of now:
- Game will no longer be divided into two parts. Alternative protagonist will slowly replace Marek over the course of the campaign. He'll be an Imperial, by the way, so aesthetic discussed a few posts back is back.
- After rocking my brain for entire christmas break, I think i finally came with idea for corruption process that won't be too "meh" and at the same time, time-consuming to write.
- Game recieved numerous technical improvements, several characters have changed classes and backstories.

I won't give ETA, because as you probably noticed, I like to scrap and revise things a bit too much.

 

[TheDeadOne891]

Will Bosun still scheme with his mother or is that scrapped? also is the new and improved Bosun gonna be a recurring unit? The only problem I had with the game was that you only control Bosun 2ish times.

 

[Tjord]

Will Bosun still scheme with his mother or is that scrapped? also is the new and improved Bosun gonna be a recurring unit?

Nah, he's gonna be background character. But new villain will be active participant of battles, just like Marek.

 

[TheDeadOne891]

Ah okay, btw whether or not this new villain is an imperial or not, I loved that the queen of the imperials betrayed her own kingdom, are you gonna leave that in, or is that part totally scrapped whether by the influence of her son or by the new villain? (this is my last question btw)

 

[Tjord]

Ah okay, btw whether or not this new villain is an imperial or not, I loved that the queen of the imperials betrayed her own kingdom, are you gonna leave that in, or is that part totally scrapped whether by the influence of her son or by the new villain? (this is my last question btw)

Okay so in current draft of the story

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[TheDeadOne891]

Okay so in current draft of the story

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I see, hmm a question that just popped in my brain, do you know if you the new villain will be an imperial or a person from Marek's side turned evil? (or at least hiding that he was)

 

[test011]

But new villain will be active participant of battles, just like Marek.

Maybe that will make people like the new 2nd protagonist more, people usually like protagonists they control as opposed to protagonist appearing only in cutscenes.

 

[TheDeadOne891]

yeah I think it's hard for people to like a protag that they don't control for most of the game

 

[RedAnt]

It's shallow, but I think the main problem with Bosun was his physic. I see no problem with what was described, but the devils can be in the details.

Not giving ETA is wise, at least until you are 99,99% finished. You can tell people it's an estimate all you want, there is always a minority of toxic "fan" that will take those estimate for a blood oath on your firstborn. The same advice should be followed for features. don't announce until you are certain you can deliver, for the same reason.

However, I think you should advertise your game better for your next release (in more place than this one and your site).