- Apr 21, 2020
- 127
- 193
Love the game and the models. Can't wait for the next one.
You motivate me to bring my own idea to life.
You motivate me to bring my own idea to life.
- Thread starter SeveredRealms
- Start date
- Apr 10, 2020
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hahaha no clue this is something I have been working story wise for a few years along with a couple others. I used to do a lot of writing when i was bored and this story came about so i said lets see if i can figure out daz and try my hand at making a vn.
- Apr 10, 2020
- 1,531
- 5,968
Little cuddle time with Erin and who knows what might happen 
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- Feb 25, 2020
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- Nov 22, 2018
- 575
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Well, I see that people seem to like this game. Wish I could say the same.
As someone who never skips skippable prologues, because I wouldn't want to miss something important, that prologue followed by a lengthy conversation Kahlan tired me out about halfway through. Maybe that's just me, though.
The much more obvious issue is the writing itself. I've just come off a game whose creator seemingly had never heard of punctuation, and this feels not much different. There's also numerous spelling errors, like bare/bear, your/you're, wont/won't.
I'm sorry, but as it is now, I can't enjoy this game. The only reason I've had this on for more than 10 minutes is because I fell asleep.
Normally I start comments like this with the positive, but I don't think I've found anything yet. I suppose the king is the most unlikable prick in the history of kings, so I guess that's nice...? Though his raging makes him seem positively unhinged to a degree that makes me wonder how he could've been king for an extended period without the kingdom falling apart...
Anyway, that's my opinion. Do with it what you will. I'll probably check back in a while, see if it's readable then.
As someone who never skips skippable prologues, because I wouldn't want to miss something important, that prologue followed by a lengthy conversation Kahlan tired me out about halfway through. Maybe that's just me, though.
The much more obvious issue is the writing itself. I've just come off a game whose creator seemingly had never heard of punctuation, and this feels not much different. There's also numerous spelling errors, like bare/bear, your/you're, wont/won't.
I'm sorry, but as it is now, I can't enjoy this game. The only reason I've had this on for more than 10 minutes is because I fell asleep.
Normally I start comments like this with the positive, but I don't think I've found anything yet. I suppose the king is the most unlikable prick in the history of kings, so I guess that's nice...? Though his raging makes him seem positively unhinged to a degree that makes me wonder how he could've been king for an extended period without the kingdom falling apart...
Anyway, that's my opinion. Do with it what you will. I'll probably check back in a while, see if it's readable then.
- Sep 18, 2017
- 3,888
- 7,896
I stopped reading your silly comment after you said that you've had this for more than 10 minutes only because you fell asleep.
well...don't let the door hit you on your way out.
- Apr 10, 2020
- 1,531
- 5,968
Well lets start with the grammar.... Shit sorry I do not get much sleep and fell asleep half way through this sentence. Anywho I write fast kinda like I read. So yeah I fuck up mix words yada yada it happens to every dev. Too much story? Well I did say its a story driven vn in the OP. At least I am not like some authors of other novels that will spend 3 pages describing a flower but if you would like me to I would be more then errr I meant than hippy..."happy" to do so.....Damn ittttttt someone proof read this shit before I post it please.....
By the way I had some help from viewers less like you and they "nicely" pointed out my mistakes and I fixed them.
As for our dear dear mentally unhinged king...... His kingdom is falling apart... I am pretty sure the throne room scene would have pointed that out. But guess what..... It isn't going to get that far.... The girls won't get traded off..... Why you ask.... Cause we now have a pissed off knight that's had enough. I think I showed you the royal shit hitting the fan in the pre-release. With the kingdom falling apart and also the floor under the kings plans starting to crumble. In the remaining part of this first release you will see the king is going to need someone to donate blood..... he will have a mishap and might trip and fall onto something sharp.
Well I wrote too much.. see what happens when you're tired because you can't sleep due to chronic pain and staying up half the night setting up and doing renders for a animation. Nc is the bar still open... I need some liquid pain relief......
- Nov 22, 2018
- 575
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Yeah, sorry man. I guess I was a bit grumpy when I wrote my comment... All I really wanted to say was that this needed lots of proofreading. I guess it turned into a bit of a tirade...
As to my comments about the king, those were meant to be positive. I'm looking forward to seeing him get what he deserves.
For a first game it is an amazing work. Nice renders, interesting character development, nice and unique personalities... I was pretty engaged with the story. It may be a bit cliche, the medieval stuff and such, but the game it has it's own flow and environment. It has an unique feel.
I personally recommend you to work a bit on the locations, sometimes they are good, others feel a bit generic. I would also like a better interface, but as I said, I understand it is the first game. It's just a recomendation. Finally, while some characters are nice, at some points it feels it needs a bit more detail, specially Lily, but nothing extraordinary.
Overall a pretty fun game, specially taking into account it's the start and first game the dev makes, was a nice surprise. Just focus on the polish of the game, to reach more people. The "basic" interface can discourage some people not to play. I know it's the first game, but do the effort. Good luck on future endeavours.
I personally recommend you to work a bit on the locations, sometimes they are good, others feel a bit generic. I would also like a better interface, but as I said, I understand it is the first game. It's just a recomendation. Finally, while some characters are nice, at some points it feels it needs a bit more detail, specially Lily, but nothing extraordinary.
Overall a pretty fun game, specially taking into account it's the start and first game the dev makes, was a nice surprise. Just focus on the polish of the game, to reach more people. The "basic" interface can discourage some people not to play. I know it's the first game, but do the effort. Good luck on future endeavours.
- Apr 10, 2020
- 1,531
- 5,968
Thanks for the nice review though I am a bit baffled by the basic interface as it is a renpy game and I have no plans on making it a sandbox game. If you could elaborate in that it would be great. In the time frame this release runs ie less then 1.5 days as well as available assets I only used what was needed for locations and more will come at the game progresses. I also have to be careful atm with daz since I am running a older card for now and some rooms like the throne room really worked my pc hard just to do anything in cause some things are resource hogs and hit my card pretty hard. I do have a massive card upgrade coming soon though. The mc will be spending some quality time with Lily in the next update as well as more Erin time. I am currently rendering a scene with a little one on one time with Erin and the mc. Lily will get her one on one time later in the day
. Also before I go this is the new UI coming in the next update as well.
Thank you for the answer.Thanks for the nice review though I am a bit baffled by the basic interface as it is a renpy game and I have no plans on making it a sandbox game. If you could elaborate in that it would be great. In the time frame this release runs ie less then 1.5 days as well as available assets I only used what was needed for locations and more will come at the game progresses. I also have to be careful atm with daz since I am running a older card for now and some rooms like the throne room really worked my pc hard just to do anything in cause some things are resource hogs and hit my card pretty hard. I do have a massive card upgrade coming soon though. The mc will be spending some quality time with Lily in the next update as well as more Erin time. I am currently rendering a scene with a little one on one time with Erin and the mc. Lily will get her one on one time later in the day
It's hard for me to explain it with words, so sorry for not being specific. I think the best way to describe it is being less Renpyesc. For example, stuff like having sounds on the menu (or lights), having actually buttons, stuff like that. I know it's a bit hard with medieval theme, but personally the font on the text has some influence as well (remember the Comic Sams meme?).
It's hard to say what I truly mean, but the interface makes me remind Games like these. Again, I know way too little about Renpy to know it's limitations, so I have no idea how hard it is to make the interface with that engine, along with the one that you use for models and locations.
Also, sorry if I sounded rude or something similar like that, wasn't my idea. I like to be blunt about the games I like and mentioned where I think they could improve. Trust me, if I didn't like the game I wouldn't even bother to comment. I just believe that first impressions are important, and fortunely the story was quite nice for me to engage in the game. Of course not everyone will have the same opinion, but it's my sincere one. If you want, I can recommend games like Tales of the Undying Void, Once in a Lifetime and Above the Clouds for examples of interfaces/menus I mean. On Once in a Lifetime specially is nice because it was also his first game, and you could see a gradual increase in polish and clean up if you played from the first release. On the locations/areas you can still see that difference the more you proceed with the game.
Again, I like the game, and by no means I want to discourage the development. If I didn't like it I wouldn't even bother to comment. I also know that sometimes I'm quite picky, but since I liked it I still wanted to give my 2 cents of my first impressions. Good luck on future endeavours, will definitely follow the development of this game.
- Apr 10, 2020
- 1,531
- 5,968
I take all your opinions into consideration. My Ui and the graphics is completely are custom made for the game, the text and main menu itself are set up with help from shaddymodda, the font itself is not a standard font and done just for this game and also matched the main font used for the title. The first game you listed is not even a renpy game. the other 3 I have played myself and they all use a standard renpy interface not much different then my own. I designed everything to set my game apart from the standard look of a standard game.
- Apr 10, 2020
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Small update from me. after fighting with daz for a few days I finally think I fixed the issue that was slowing me down and causing daz to act stupid and crash. I have one animation almost ready. It has 240 base frames before they loop and look nice and smooth. They were being a pain in the ass but finally got them looking good. I think I made well over 300 addition renders before I finally got the animation to be smooth. My biggest problem crashing while working with Erin for her scenes. the model for Erin is a g3 model... Until now... She has been converted to g8 and the crashing has stopped so I can finally finish after 2 days of fighting with it. Now I can use all the g8 assets on her and move a lot faster with rendering. Below is the new and old side by side... you be the judge on which is real and which is memorex
- Aug 20, 2018
- 644
- 2,283
SeveredRealms looks good . Mediaeval setups are still rare in avns . No ntr shit that is great . story sounds interesting ,I will wait for few more updates before commenting on that .
Keep it simple no need to make a totally custom menu (most people don't care about that) ,yours menu looks good enough .
Render is something you can improve on future when you have more resources and experience on daz .
On my watch list .
Keep it simple no need to make a totally custom menu (most people don't care about that) ,yours menu looks good enough .
Render is something you can improve on future when you have more resources and experience on daz .
On my watch list .
- Apr 10, 2020
- 1,531
- 5,968
I'm back to writing the script today or at least trying. Family life and a honeydo list from m wife as well as needing to go to my daughters to build a door or some shit. I have the next scene all rendered so it's just a matter of adding the script and getting the renders in game. The screenshot below was from testing some minor script adjustments and is part of the new scene. just so you all know I am almost always in my voice channel in discord and you never know I just may be streaming while I write and make renders. you may just catch a glimpse of things to come or even see the new game as well. Hell you might even meet Tripod the dev of the game "The sister-in-law".
- Apr 10, 2020
- 1,531
- 5,968
There is now 3455 lines of script. Erins story is now written and a surprise new character is entering the story. She was a unplanned addition but the MC being who he is just can not leave her in the situation she now finds herself in. She is part of Erins story line and will be a "Side girl" for now and who knows eventually she may find herself a part of his harem. Only time will tell. I have officially run out of renders and will start building new scenes over the next week.
Script and story wise is only at 431 lines but I expect that to more then double by the end of the prologue. While rendering one of the scenes of the prologue I kinda pulled something similar to Severed and created a model for one single scene that came out so good... I have to include her. I was trying for a much older woman but what I got was a very pretty middle age blonde woman and I just can't leave her out now lol.
Thats all for the update for now. If you wish to be more informed of progress my discord has all the latest info and I'm almost always around to answer questions as well as streaming while working. Thank you for reading it and thank you to those that are helping by supporting my efforts.
SeveredRealms
- Apr 10, 2020
- 1,531
- 5,968
Over 100 new renders made then I noticed a problem with the new girl coming into the game. I knew right off when trying to work with the model something wasnt right cause daz didnt like it when posing or making any adjustments to her. It wasnt till I went to edit the renders for glitches that things fell apart quick. I am half way through redoing 20 plus renders with her replacement model. Things are moving at normal speeds now just caused a major setback. I also noticed something with Erin and no idea how to fix it other then removing the blush from her cheeks for now. But as a teaser here is the new model in a happy reunion with Erin. Yes in this case they are tears of happiness
Edit: The heart on Erins cheek is a glitch but it fit the scene so I am leaving it till I clean the tears off her face.
Edit: The heart on Erins cheek is a glitch but it fit the scene so I am leaving it till I clean the tears off her face.
- Apr 10, 2020
- 1,531
- 5,968
Severed Realms Update:
Good morning everyone, I hope your weekend is going well. i wanted to update you all on the progress. It has been a messed up week with broken models messing up renders and daz just being flakey as usual. But I finally have overcome it I hope. Severed realms has 88 new renders finally after everything. There were more due to some needing 3 different renders made just for one complete render to be made from them. It would be counted over 100 new renders if those did not need not be combined. During this coming week I am going to start scripting them into the story. I am also going to start on the final scene for the current in game day. This scene will take longer due to multiple animations it will require. I know I am slow at getting it done but I am also limited to my pc's graphic power. The writing and scripting goes much faster. Now I could post a update at any time but would rather have a completed part 1. I did also have to convert a second model to gen 8 for use in the game. Those that are subscribed are getting a teaser of her. But here is something to tide you over here on the this site.
Nobody Knows update:
All intro and prologue renders are now completed and run through photoshop for quality. As I have said before this one is always second to Severed Realms so productions will be much slower for now. I halve about half the prologue scripted and hopefully this week will finish it along with starting on the first scene of the game.
Thanks you to all that are following me and a special thanks to those that are supporting me. Good morning everyone, I hope your weekend is going well. i wanted to update you all on the progress. It has been a messed up week with broken models messing up renders and daz just being flakey as usual. But I finally have overcome it I hope. Severed realms has 88 new renders finally after everything. There were more due to some needing 3 different renders made just for one complete render to be made from them. It would be counted over 100 new renders if those did not need not be combined. During this coming week I am going to start scripting them into the story. I am also going to start on the final scene for the current in game day. This scene will take longer due to multiple animations it will require. I know I am slow at getting it done but I am also limited to my pc's graphic power. The writing and scripting goes much faster. Now I could post a update at any time but would rather have a completed part 1. I did also have to convert a second model to gen 8 for use in the game. Those that are subscribed are getting a teaser of her. But here is something to tide you over here on the this site.
Nobody Knows update:
All intro and prologue renders are now completed and run through photoshop for quality. As I have said before this one is always second to Severed Realms so productions will be much slower for now. I halve about half the prologue scripted and hopefully this week will finish it along with starting on the first scene of the game.
