VN Ren'Py Abandoned Share of Sweet [v0.1.4 Extended] [Neon Berry]

[OmegaLord]

Sorry but this was too much of a mess to even finish the first version.
The English translation is not great, I've seen worse but it's also enough to drag me out of it from time to time.
The story is far too scattered, time jumps and no explanation to the change of MC on why he is acting differently from prior to the jump.
MC had yet to show any kind of consistent personality when I stopped playing (30 min or so)

There is promise to the idea, but it's just far to rough in it's current state for me to enjoy. I also suggest to the Dev to figure out if it's gonna be NTR or not at all, if your going NTR just go all in and let people know from the start, if not you need to rethink what you already have there.

This game is personally not for me as I can't get into it in any way, MC is a blank page and the first LI is far too annoying and the only other one that anything has happened with MC is like NAH... Story jumping around also don't help it at all, there was little meaningful reason to do so.

 

[M!ST!C]

The developer has released an update with new content. From scratch in a new translated prologue and partially redesigned game.

 

[Deleted member 5606666]

Sorry but choosing friend as relation okay, but 'unit'? What the fuck is a unit?

Don't we have patch for that BS, so we can just skip the relation BS.

 

[Canto Forte]

You can write good dialogues if you give MC something to do.
Have the game be about the job of Mc, the hobby of MC, the anything of MC,
then, at some point, have a girl take interest in him, or him take interest in a girl.

Spoiler

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tHIS GAME BEING ABOUT WATCHING SOME ASSHOLOES DOING IT WHILE GAMERS HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER, YEAH, IT IS A SHIT GAME, WITH LITTLE TO NO CHOICES, ABOUT MC GETTING NTR-ED OUTTA ANYONE WHO EVER MEANT ANYTHING TO HIM, BECAUSE ASSHOLE SHIT FOR BRAINS ARE GIVEN GIRLS LIKE BLOW UP DOLLS TO ABUSE WHILE GAMERS ARE POWERLESS AND CANNOT ACTUALLY GAME ANYTHING ABOUT THAT SHIT.

 

[SlapE]

Gonna be a pass from me, glad I saved time by reading the comments, also apparently this is missing a few tags... but regardless gl with your game.

 

[Pr0GamerJohnny]

MC has no friends, only enemies, all over, the asshole comes in steals his sister, fkks her,
then Mc is supposed to care about the asshole? Why? Where is the fking relationship to warrant that?

How exactly is he an asshole?

This is the dialogue from the first meeting and the next few lines involving mc:

In the middle of the year, Nate was transferred to our class. The guy was 2 years older than us. The principal of the school said that he and his family moved from Texas, where their house was swept away by a tornado, and their closest relatives live here. I don't care, of course, but my sister was very interested in him.
......
Sis: Well, actually, we were going to go to Jason's today. Nate, if you want, come with us.
Nate: Well, of course I don't mind, but MC will be there, I don't think he'll be happy about my presence.
Sis: Don't worry, be patient, I really want you to go!
Nate: Baby, he does not want to communicate with me, he clearly does not like that I am dating his sister!

See, this is why I use the word weeb. Because some people are so disconnected from reality "asshole" means "guy who likes person I like" It's some elliot rodger-style logic. Nothing here indicates Nate is an asshole. Actually quite the contrary, he seems sensitive to knowing that MC is protective of sister and doesn't want to upset him. But that doesn't actually matter, all that matters is you like a girl, and someone else also likes her.

Here they complain about the English translation, but the game is terribly written in Russian. Correcting the translation will not help much.

Lol so true translating the example I used in those post was difficult enough - because the verbatim translation didn't even make much sense, or I understand what they were trying to say so I rephrased.

Gonna be a pass from me, glad I saved time by reading the comments, also apparently this is missing a few tags... but regardless gl with your game.

Why is this here?

 

[SlapE]

Why is this here?

Because I typed it on my keyboard... crazy I know.

 

[Canto Forte]

Nate steals your BELOVED GIRL from you, the GIRL WHO KISSES YOU AND SPENS ALLHER TIME WITH YOU, THE ONE GIRL you love so much, this is not about sex, you weirdo.
MC has a very strong relationship with her and she is taken away.
This is NTR because she is going away with the asshole who steals her, gets MC expelled and takes everything from him.

She is taken from you, Nate thinks it will be harder to steal her if she loves you, he knows he is stealing her form you and is doing everything for that end.
This is about being betrayed by someone you love, yes, she was with MC all the time before she got stolen,
then THE ASSHOLE NATE GETS MC EXPELLED AND RUNS AWAY WITH HIS beloved,
THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP of this NTR bull WITH MC, HE IS RUINING MC LIFE ALL THE TIME.

How exactly is he an asshole?

This is the dialogue from the first meeting and the next few lines involving mc:



See, this is why I use the word weeb. Because some people are so disconnected from reality "asshole" means "guy who likes person I like" It's some elliot rodger-style logic. Nothing here indicates Nate is an asshole. Actually quite the contrary, he seems sensitive to knowing that MC is protective of sister and doesn't want to upset him. But that doesn't actually matter, all that matters is you like a girl, and someone else also likes her.


Lol so true translating the example I used in those post was difficult enough - because the verbatim translation didn't even make much sense, or I understand what they were trying to say so I rephrased.



Why is this here?



She is the LI in this game. There is noone with anything like this relationship wise,
CLEARLY THE LI OF THIS STORY.

The absolute LI of this story loves MC to death, is jealous of any other girl, tells him she loves him,
he loves her, BUT THE NTR BULL STEALS HER AND GETS MC EXPELLED AND DESTROYS HIS LIFE.

What a dumsterfire shitshow of a game, MC has nothing and what little he ever had is STOLEN RIGHT FROM THE VERY START OF THIS GAME.

 

[Canto Forte]

tHE DEV ONLY REMOVED THE SCENE OF THE NTR BULL RAPING MC”S beloved, not the stealing, not the jealousy, not the immense hurt caused to MC by the NTR bull - this story is still ABOUT THE NTR BULL STEALING THE GIRL MC LOVED THE MOST, GETTING HIM EXPELLED, BEAT UP AND AWAY FROM EVERYONE HE EVER KNEW AND LOVED.

"The NTR has been partially removed or it can now be skipped!"

Why delete partially or make it skippable. NTR must be completely avoidable or no NTR hater will touch this. Skipping is not an option for NTR or you drive all the haters away. That was completely pointless work from the dev. Abandoned tags are worth waiting for

 

[Neon Berry]

Hi, everybody!
Guys, this is just a prologue, and the game is not about NTR! Sister, mother, niece, and Yumiko love or will love only MC! But, for example, the sister has reasons why she distanced herself, and it's not Nate, but their parents (and the fact that parents will not accept such a relationship)! And there is such a dialogue in the game! They both understand that they cannot be together and make an informed choice! Once again, the reason is the parents! I don't understand why you perceive that Nate took her away!? This is due only to school age...
In the future, everything will be good! Sister, mom, niece, and Yumiko will be just for MC!

 

[Brok TheDog]

I just have an opinion to give, to set up a system of love lust statistics when 90% of the time we don't make any choice and that this stat changes itself and totally useless. For my part, this game is going to the dustbin with the hundreds of others on this site.

 

[Ntr Ntr]

When u lose support from the incest and vanilla camp come find us.

 

[Simulacrum29]

Hi, everybody!
Guys, this is just a prologue, and the game is not about NTR! Sister, mother, niece, and Yumiko love or will love only MC! But, for example, the sister has reasons why she distanced herself, and it's not Nate, but their parents (and the fact that parents will not accept such a relationship)! And there is such a dialogue in the game! They both understand that they cannot be together and make an informed choice! Once again, the reason is the parents! I don't understand why you perceive that Nate took her away!? This is due only to school age...
In the future, everything will be good! Sister, mom, niece, and Yumiko will be just for MC!

If your prolog is shit, thats the point people stop playing. Even if your game will transform into Half-Life 3 in the later chapters im out.

 

[Crimsonfiend76]

All of you whining and moaning in the thread - did you actually FINISH the game? Because you know your buddy Nate gets

Spoiler

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All this ntr crying , the guy is was always trying to be nice to the MC, and halfway through, scratch that, because the prologue actually shows his name..... anyway, I have no words.

If anyone new to this game is reading this, give it your own try, don't be put off by the moaning weebs. The translation's a little rocky in this version, and faces need work, but past that the game definitely has potential.

I wouldn't technically call Nate the MC's buddy but I do understand where you're coming from in this instance. This scenario (minus the wincest LI) is a lot more common in the real world with friends/acquaintances of someone accepting that their relative is dating/in a relationship with a friend, rival, or just someone they know and there is nothing they can do about it.

Now, considering we are talking about a fictional AVN and a LI who apparently has romantic feelings for the MC and vice-versa, it's certainly understandable why many would feel outraged that a potential LI chooses to be with someone else due to awkward or impossible circumstances that prevent them from getting together... like being related (by blood or marriage).

Hi, everybody!
Guys, this is just a prologue, and the game is not about NTR! Sister, mother, niece, and Yumiko love or will love only MC! But, for example, the sister has reasons why she distanced herself, and it's not Nate, but their parents (and the fact that parents will not accept such a relationship)! And there is such a dialogue in the game! They both understand that they cannot be together and make an informed choice! Once again, the reason is the parents! I don't understand why you perceive that Nate took her away!? This is due only to school age...
In the future, everything will be good! Sister, mom, niece, and Yumiko will be just for MC!

At the end of the day, I think people would sooner just skip seeing that content of the potential future LI moving on and choosing someone else in the past and would prefer they just go their separate ways and lose contact with each other... basically everything happening off camera/screen, then flash forward to the present where they find each other with their lives in a much different circumstance than how they were left off and just go from there.

 

[Neon Berry]

If your prolog is shit, thats the point people stop playing. Even if your game will transform into Half-Life 3 in the later chapters im out.

Well, everyone has their own choice here! Thanks for playing! I make the game as planned and as I see it + yes, it's raw, I'm a person with no experience in the gaming field, I do as I can)

 

[rot1122]

Hey folks,
Made a compressed Version, to unzip you need

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Images are Q90, Videos Q75

Original size: 642MB
Compressed size: 177MB

PC =

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v0.1.1

 

[goulet1995]

Hi, everybody!
Guys, this is just a prologue, and the game is not about NTR! Sister, mother, niece, and Yumiko love or will love only MC! But, for example, the sister has reasons why she distanced herself, and it's not Nate, but their parents (and the fact that parents will not accept such a relationship)! And there is such a dialogue in the game! They both understand that they cannot be together and make an informed choice! Once again, the reason is the parents! I don't understand why you perceive that Nate took her away!? This is due only to school age...
In the future, everything will be good! Sister, mom, niece, and Yumiko will be just for MC!

you might as well slap then ntr tag on it and make it a ntr focused one becuase you lost the harem and vanila crowd with this start they nobody besides the ntr lovers want to hear about or see a LI with someone else

 

[Darknesssilent]

I will ask the moderator to put a tag!

Can i avoid the mother and sister and the sisters daughter or is it going to be forced on us that we forgive them.

 

[bitsybobs3]

ShareOfSweet-0.1.1

Spoiler: TORRENT 623MB (Windows)

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[Neon Berry]

you might as well slap then ntr tag on it and make it a ntr focused one becuase you lost the harem and vanila crowd with this start they nobody besides the ntr lovers want to hear about or see a LI with someone else

Do you understand what's going on) I didn't publish it! I have already written to the moderator and asked him to put the NTR tag!
I make the game, at will! I can't reproach that someone doesn't like it! To each his own!)