- Aug 24, 2017
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- Thread starter Deleted member 2309595
- Start date
- Aug 24, 2017
- 3,273
- 3,926
- Sep 21, 2018
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Overhall some little changes in the models will be good, the nieces is the most urgent, they seems like an adult model but short in height
- Mar 1, 2020
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Loli [Girls with undeveloped bodies in sexual situations]
underdeveloped means "looks prepubescent"
- May 20, 2020
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Promising, but the dialogue needs a lot of work. Especially the longer passages at the police station needs polishing, as it is they barely make sense (well, you can understand the basic meaning but they are unstructured and the grammar is severely lacking). But, could be good if some kind soul helps out with the translation.
Complimentary Sandwich
The Good: I like the idea, the story seems good and seems to have the support of the community.
The Bad: The tags, I would make it very clear that this is an early build and remove tags that currently don't have any relevance. Some spelling/grammatical errors, but they're easily fixed. And the models are something I don't think is something I can get used to, would recommend re-doing them, especially the eyes. They look... alien, and not in a good sexy Liara way. More like I woke up from a bad dream way.
But I love the work you put into it and look forward to seeing to progress.
The Good: I like the idea, the story seems good and seems to have the support of the community.
The Bad: The tags, I would make it very clear that this is an early build and remove tags that currently don't have any relevance. Some spelling/grammatical errors, but they're easily fixed. And the models are something I don't think is something I can get used to, would recommend re-doing them, especially the eyes. They look... alien, and not in a good sexy Liara way. More like I woke up from a bad dream way.
But I love the work you put into it and look forward to seeing to progress.
- Aug 17, 2019
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This one's probably going to be Proud Father'd if there's any sex with the younger girls, imo. They're clearly prepubescent.
something about how squished together her face features are reminds me of that OneyNG cartoon style like in Hellbender's. Eyes, nose, mouth all towards the center of a very large face
- May 8, 2019
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Still no confirmation on virgins or not and I see the Dev has been here since those questions were asked, guess I'll pass on this one.
I would love to understand how is this important cause maybe I'm missing something also i cant edit the post so i cant make changes yet haven't been given dev tag
I just needed feedback cause I'm doing this alone and I'm the type of person that like things point out that maybe i missed cuse im not perfect and I'm learning Daz and renpy as I'm making this game and the sooner I get feedback the sooner I can fix them also I did all this in one month while learning as I get better I'm sure I can make more content on shorter time but nonetheless I appreciate you taking the time to try it.
- Dec 28, 2017
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Hilarious.
But I wasn't mad, I was stating just and obvious fact.
And I was stating that obvious fact since it is not allowed on this site: the three little girls are not developed, so they don't fit in the category of loli. Therefore this game includes forbidden content, not by me but by this site.
All of you who enjoy this illusion be my guest, I know you're not messing with real children but just with pixels on a screen. But make no mistake, you are attracted to pixel children; don't try to deny that fact by facepalming me again, it is what it is
Of course I'm out, I just replied because you quoted me with your side-splitting meme.
The story premise is good, but unreal and rushed. In real life if you live in a city, unless it is a very large Metropolis like New York or others, there is no way you're going to not see someone or hear about someone who looks just like you. No officer of any law organization will ever recruit someone just because they "look" like someone if they are a total civillian, that is asking for way too many problems and will always end in failure, and the enemy thinking they killed you and reappearing is just getting someone else killed. Organized crime (Mafia) have certain rules to follow, and one of them is if you are supposed to be dead, you die, period, end of story. There is no realistic way to write around that, no one gets a pass because they lived, not even Harry Potter.
The looks of the one daughter, either Jasper or Sapphire is in what is known as The Uncanny Valley, where it looks close enough to be real, but just wrong enough to provoke an unconscious bias against it, as a former artist the answer why is simple, her eyes are way too close together. Watch a couple how to draw faces on youtube and you will see what proper proportions are and why they work that way unless there is a deformity.
The sex scene with the wife was mostly ok, but there was one problem with it, near the end you switched camera positions too often, either focus on the whole, or the individual, don't switch back and forth between them constantly unless you want to cause a seizure. Straighten out the scene to watching the genitals move for awhile, then to the whole body or vice versa, but that constant switching back and forth looks bad.
With those things in mind you can write the story you want, but you're going to run into a writing problem later if you ignore them, I hope I have given you some constructive criticisms to work with, and good luck with your game.
The looks of the one daughter, either Jasper or Sapphire is in what is known as The Uncanny Valley, where it looks close enough to be real, but just wrong enough to provoke an unconscious bias against it, as a former artist the answer why is simple, her eyes are way too close together. Watch a couple how to draw faces on youtube and you will see what proper proportions are and why they work that way unless there is a deformity.
The sex scene with the wife was mostly ok, but there was one problem with it, near the end you switched camera positions too often, either focus on the whole, or the individual, don't switch back and forth between them constantly unless you want to cause a seizure. Straighten out the scene to watching the genitals move for awhile, then to the whole body or vice versa, but that constant switching back and forth looks bad.
With those things in mind you can write the story you want, but you're going to run into a writing problem later if you ignore them, I hope I have given you some constructive criticisms to work with, and good luck with your game.
Really appreciated the feedback I already revamped all the characters with better materials overall I didn't think of technicalities when I started making a game of this type I thought more of an absurd 80's movies for the plot lol, but ill take the feedback none the less and will keep in mind your pointers ^_^ thank you for taking the time to try it ^_^
From an end user perspective...
Don't get too caught up in things like animations. Focus on a smooth story progression. If you are going to do alternate or side stories, expand in those directions after you have most of the main story in place.
Artistically, extreme close-ups are a two-edged blade. Use with caution. Others in this thread have already covered the other issues I am confident you will work on.
Good work and I wish you good fortune.
Don't get too caught up in things like animations. Focus on a smooth story progression. If you are going to do alternate or side stories, expand in those directions after you have most of the main story in place.
Artistically, extreme close-ups are a two-edged blade. Use with caution. Others in this thread have already covered the other issues I am confident you will work on.
Good work and I wish you good fortune.
- May 8, 2019
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- 3,149
The importance is.. One would assume with Loli's they would be virgins, which is what me and locomotor79 were asking.
For myself virgins are too rare nowadays and while harem, incest and loli interest me.. The loli's not being virgins lessens that interest for me.
ah, I see then you have nothing to worry about. but like i said i cant change nothing on the post yet XD